We can be set FREE from our brokenness, for $19.99!

JK, it’s actually for free… not some Jenny Craig Program for the heart or something…

Last week, my women’s Bible study group was studying about brokenness. And as I was one of the youngest in the group, I didn’t feel like I had much life experience to share. People shared about broken relationships with spouses and family members and parents. People shared about death and mental disorders and other severe chronic ailments…

Mine? A breakup… sounds quite silly and young… actually. Continue reading

Valentine’s Day… WHAT? Single Valentine’s Day = Wonderful!

So… Now I’m married, I’m wondering if I really have to celebrate this valentine’s day thing… since we married, doesn’t that show ultimately that we love one another? Enough to take the vow… “till DEATH do us part”?

Now I don’t mind if buying a Valentine’s Day gift for a guy means flowers and a teddy bear plus some chocolates… except not.

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Chronicles of a New Wife

I should think to re-name my blog. Just kidding. Hopefully, in a few years… I’ll be not so “new” at being a wife anymore.

Being a wife… is HARD! Not just suddenly thinking for two people, but also being responsible for a whole new set of things, and on the other hand letting go control on a bunch of other aspects in life.

Of course, there is the constant living and talking to each other, which is awesome! But, here we go, learning about “it’s not WHAT you say, it’s HOW you say it.” The husband and the wife are two separate beings, with two individual minds and two different agendas. They have both very good ideas and opinions, but once again, they are two. And now we are ONE.

We need to come up with ONE plan, ONE agenda. We need to figure out ONE set of rules, not two. We need to run our lives that match to ONE schedule, not two.
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Christmas with the new In-laws

So here we are. Newly married, and trying to figure out how to balance the holidays. Some time spent just to ourselves as a couple, and how much time to spend with his parents. (My parents are currently in another country… so I’m guessing that’s not as easy to just spend a dinner or a weekend with.)

Christmas Eve, I went over to his parents’ house to have Hot Pot (it’s where you have a hot boiling pot of soup in the middle of the table, and you cook different things in it. It’s a very Asian get-together, family style of eating.)

On Christmas Day, we invited his parents over to our apartment to have Christmas dinner. This was our menu (for 4 people):

Turkey (in a soy-sauce based marinate, play on an Asian dish)
Green Beans with Garlic
Buttered Corn
Corn and Potato Chowder
Cranberry Sauce (which happened to be the hardest thing to find and buy)

Dessert:
Crepes Suzette
Red Bean Soup (a traditional Asian dish)

So as the food was cooking, I started cleaning. Our house isn’t messy, but I was stressed about the potential “inspection”. I’ve heard my mother-in-law previously talk about other women about being “princesses” when they don’t help clean or cook in the house.

So I start cleaning, I vacuum, I Windex every surface available to mankind in my house. The media center, the cabinet top (and doors and corners and edges), all the windows, the surface of our coffee tables (3) which all have glass surfaces, all the mirrors in both bathrooms. And the mirrors are HUGE. I kept having to switch hands because I’d cover a corner and my arm would be sore. I also windexed the faucet heads (They are metal and can get water stains, so it’s good to windex those, too.) Of course, you may think that I’m windexing with a towel or rag. BUT NO! That will definitely leave lint. Or you may assume I’m using the lint-less rags. Nope. I’m going hardcore.

NEWSPAPER! No lint, pulls off the oils, and works wonders cleaning windows and mirrors and any of those surfaces that need to be left glistening!

My place is clean, but I realized we didn’t really have festive decorations, so I tried to use the vases and ornaments the best I could, and concocted a few centerpieces. Luckily, I still had the bouquet that my husband got me for our first month anniversary (and it was still alive, despite me forgetting to feed it the “flower food” it came with). I had a few decorative items that I brought with me from Philadelphia that were used in the Philadelphia wedding. Perfect.

Times up! It’s 5pm. But they aren’t here yet. It’s 5:30pm, and they still aren’t here yet. Apparently, they wanted to give us “a few extra minutes” because they were worried we wouldn’t be ready by 5pm yet. That’s pretty thoughtful, although I’m pretty punctual when I cook, so I’m watching the food get cold as I start reheating everything in the oven and microwave.

My husband comes out and sees that I’m reheating the food and plating them and setting them on the dining table. He informs me that most dinner guests don’t immediately seat and have dinner. We usually serve a cocktail or a drink or some snacks, and then about 30 minutes after arrival, then the meal starts.

OMG. I did not know this! Now I have no idea what to do, because I just reheated everything and put it out. So I will have to reheat everything a second time… is that bad? There is probably something chemically that is happening after so many rounds of heating and reheating and nuking… Is this a suburban thing? Maybe it’s just a house thing… since I’m only emulating what I know, which is observed in restaurants, which is: Go in, sit down, order to eat.

Anyhow, that’s exactly what happened. We sat down and chatted and served some cocktails and wine. And then later got seated. Thankfully, no one got sick or food poisoning, so the reheating must have been okay… at least this time.

Whew. My first time “hosting” Christmas dinner for the in-laws. Didn’t go so bad… I think…

Let it snow Let it snow…

I’m in the tundra…

It’s been snowing since last night and it’s still snowing and it’s already noon here. WHERE IS THE SUN?!

I just checked the temperature for today. It’s supposed to be about 19F here in Michigan tonight and I’m supposed to go to a formal holiday party. Say What?!

It’s currently in the 50F’s in Philadelphia. I still have so many of my 40F-50F outfits that I haven’t worn yet, and Michigan has already sped up it’s snowmakers… and it’s now in the teens?! I did not expect this! I was still dilly dallying in my peep-toe shoes and mid-heavy jackets. Yes, we have seasons on the East Coast.

That probably answers why a week ago when I went to dinner with my girl friend (out of the total of 2 friends I currently have in Michigan), she told me to get into boots instead of my peep-toe heels. To which is laughed, “What? Wear boots to a girls’ dinner out in November? Please!”

Ok, I see what she means, there is obviously no autumn here. I still have yet to wear skirts and dresses with boots… Oh c’mon, you know what I mean! It’s when the weather is cold enough to wear boots, but still warm enough that you can wear a skirt/dress without having to wear leggings underneath the dress and boots. Right? Can I get an Amen?

Ok, hopefully I’m not the only one who calculates weather and depends heavily on the gradient of the weather for trying out different combinations of outfits. (Men, that’s why we need so many different coats, shoes, clothes in general. Our wardrobe season spans much more than just the summer and winter. We also have cool summer, hot summer, early spring, wet spring, windy spring, overly hot spring, early autumn end of summer, crisp autumn, warm autumn, cold autumn, sunny but cold winter, gloomy winter, snowy winter, freezing look-like-a-marshmellow winter, sunny and warm winter, etc etc…)  But this morning, looking at the piles of snow in Michigan makes me realize that I may need to:

1. Put away my late autumn early winter wardrobe, fitted for the only the East Coast.

or

2. Hurry and quickly wear those early winter (still slightly warm) outfits before it gets colder (apparently it gets worse around here. omg…) and even though it’s gonna be a bit cold, I need to just suck it up and get through it. Live in my own East Coast winter…

I choose 2.

(Wow, I feel really shallow that I had such a long inner dialogue just about the clothes regarding the mini-seasons*.)

*mini-seasons: my new term that describes the in between seasons from the major four (Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter). See above for more detailed breakdown.

Why do guys like long hair?

There is something about the long hair on a woman that men love… and can’t stop loving.

Sure, the occasional celebrity scores a bob or an above the shoulder cut and still is deemed hot, if not even hotter (re: Charlize Theron, Uma Thurman, Katie Holmes).

But for us “common folk”, it seems like long hair is the way to go, and short hair is the way to lose a guy. (I’m talking the 85%… Gals with stunning bobs no need to be offended and can stop reading here if need be…)

So why is it that guys like long hair more than short hair? And it’s not even just long hair in a bun or ponytail… it’s long hair let down… That’s right. All that hair, untied, not pulled back, blowing in the wind, getting in our faces and having strands stick out centrifugally from our faces… You can’t even hardcore hairspray that “let your hair all down” look… since it needs to “sway” and “blow” and “move” naturally. And of course… the hair flip…

So why long hair, and especially the all let down look? Here are a few reasons I’ve heard.

1. So it doesn’t feel like I’m dating a dude.

My rebuttal: what?!?!?! Does my FACE look like a dude’s? Or that mascara that I use? Or the lips that I have? Hello!! And besides, just because a woman gets a short hairdo, her haircut is usually different than that of a dude’s. Does Katie Holmes haircut look like Brad Pitt’s? Didn’t think so. (Although I can think of many men (read: Justin Beiber?) that have haircuts like Katie Holmes… just sayin…)

2. I can’t play with her hair.

My rebuttal: Aw.. how sweet. Um, we’re not in 2nd grade here. If you’re talking about braiding our hair, that’s just creepy. If you’re talking about pushing the hair out of our eyes, or maybe tucking that lose strand of hair behind our ears… we’re not BALD, we just have shorter hair! And we have bangs, so you can push that hair and tuck that strand. You say, so I can run my fingers through her hair! Ok, we girls “run our fingers through YOUR hair” as well… and sometimes all you give us is a buzzed army cut! but We make due!

3. It just looks more feminine.

My rebuttal: Ok, while I can pull up many many examples on google images showing women that look much more feminine and sophisticated with their short hair looks, I can understand this misunderstanding. Long hair is the thing that many men think differentiate the male to the female (nevermind the lumps on our chest or our softer skin or our different facial features, lack of the adam’s apple, softer/higher voices, etc etc). But truth be told, many women look childish and young with long hair, and especially when it’s all let down, the hair looks messy, she looks unenergetic, unprofessional, etc etc. So the short hair helps some women with looking more sophisticated, and some to look more professional (so they’re taken more seriously at work in a man’s world… read: irony).

4. But the long hair can’t be too long.

My alarming shock: WHAT?! How demanding can you men be regarding our personal head of hair?! You want it to be long, but not too long. So it needs to be past the shoulders (at least), best if it’s a few inches past. But it definitely should not be long to the butt (or even touch the top of the lower back). You guys are crazy. So too long looks childish and unsexy to the men. Interesting. And too short also looks unattractive. So really… you men like: middle ranged hair.

 

Well, I’ve had long hair (never had the patience to go past the lower back), and short hair (bob style! yay!). I’ve had that middle neck /on the shoulder length. And also had it straight and curled. I honestly think that though men have a “preference” (albeit odd but the majority), I will say that a women’s attractiveness is not all in her hair. So whether you have long hair or short hair, a real man who is really worth your time will see that you’re beautiful as you are and see you as a person worth getting to know. Not write you off because your hair is a few millimeters off his range standard.

And so should you keep your long hair and resist that urge to try out that stylish bob (like on Katie Holmes)? Or should you resist that urge to trim your hair because now you want to grow it out?

Nope. I think you should do what you want with your hair. Try out that bob or keep your short hair. If you love the way you look, people can see that. And I promise you, that’s way more attractive and alluring than the “long, let your hair down, hair flip, flip flip flip” look.

Auto Insurance, Mattress Hunting, and Honeymoon Reservations

Did you think that planning a wedding would sometimes include these items? I didn’t. 

Ok, the honeymoon reservations were obvious… but when I think wedding planning, I often think of more the dress, the food, the cake, the bridal party, etc.

So today, at work, I got slammed with 3 very stressful topics. Auto Insurance (I don’t own / drive a car in the city of Philadelphia, thank goodness…), buying a new mattress, and our honeymoon reservations have been paid… twice.

The main reason why it’s stressful is just because I don’t know anything about those 3 things.

I don’t drive a car and we’re about to buy a car for me for when I move to Michigan. I think about the color of the car, the interior, whether or not I can get Sirius XM radio or Navigon, etc etc… But probably the most important thing about buying a car is registering the car and getting it insured (or at least getting yourself covered under some type of auto insurance plan). Now throw in the fact that I’m moving… everything gets more complicated. I’m currently a Pennsylvania resident, planning to buy a car in PA, to drive it up to MI, in order to register and insure it there… (my fiance was the one who reminded me about these other… important details).

As for the mattress situation, we need to buy a new mattress for us after the wedding. We are looking for one that has combined firmness, so one half being soft (for me) and one half being firm (for him). While Mattress Giant carries this (and a good one, might I add, since I have married friends that own it), there is no Mattress Giant in the state of Michigan… and it is unable to deliver this mattress to us. So now we have to look for other similar ones. Except… I’ve learned now, that mattress stores are very similar to used car dealerships, and the salespersons are equal in their shadiness.

I’ve been going online and searching for tips on how to find a mattress. I first get a ton of tips and guides about how NOT to get conned by mattress salespersons. Then I come by a few sites with review forums on all the brands and models of mattresses available. While I understand that there is a high potential that only dissatisfied and angry customers will be proactive and complain about the product, I also wanted to see what the complaints were. This made me more terrified about this now ever-growing daunting task of buying a new mattress.

As for the honeymoon reservations, we have two destination, of the two, one is in Asia. While we have already reserved and put down a deposit, my lovely well-intentioned father texted me to tell me that he helped us reserved our hotel suites for the Asia portion of the honeymoon and has paid everything in FULL. While that’s very thoughtful, I’m sweating cold sweat, because that means we now have two reservations, one half paid, one fully paid. My father says his can’t be refunded (not really sure the exact details…) but he had bought a package, with all-inclusive food and drinks for the stay, as well as massages, etc etc.

So now we need to see if we can get a full refund on our previously paid deposit for that first reservation, and just use the second (father-made) reservation.

Did not think that these things would be the items that stress me out during the work day. Unless of course emails and phone calls and text messages were being sent around DURING the work day…

(Below: pictures of where we are going for our first portion of the honeymoon!)