It’s a beautiful sunny day (yes, still cold, but there’s SUN!!) here in Michigan. And what should we do?! Well, of course, go get a window seat in one of the many riverside restaurants as we watch the sun-glistening waters of the rivers, the few ships and tankers floating up along, and enjoy the sunset as we ENJOY HAPPY HOUR!!! 🙂 woot! Leisurely enjoy a cocktail or two, and many delightful appetizers and small plates as we spend a weekday evening with friends at happy hour! I love life! I love life like that!
JK, it’s actually for free… not some Jenny Craig Program for the heart or something…
Last week, my women’s Bible study group was studying about brokenness. And as I was one of the youngest in the group, I didn’t feel like I had much life experience to share. People shared about broken relationships with spouses and family members and parents. People shared about death and mental disorders and other severe chronic ailments…
So… Now I’m married, I’m wondering if I really have to celebrate this valentine’s day thing… since we married, doesn’t that show ultimately that we love one another? Enough to take the vow… “till DEATH do us part”?
Now I don’t mind if buying a Valentine’s Day gift for a guy means flowers and a teddy bear plus some chocolates… except not.
I should think to re-name my blog. Just kidding. Hopefully, in a few years… I’ll be not so “new” at being a wife anymore.
Being a wife… is HARD! Not just suddenly thinking for two people, but also being responsible for a whole new set of things, and on the other hand letting go control on a bunch of other aspects in life.
Of course, there is the constant living and talking to each other, which is awesome! But, here we go, learning about “it’s not WHAT you say, it’s HOW you say it.” The husband and the wife are two separate beings, with two individual minds and two different agendas. They have both very good ideas and opinions, but once again, they are two. And now we are ONE.
We need to come up with ONE plan, ONE agenda. We need to figure out ONE set of rules, not two. We need to run our lives that match to ONE schedule, not two.
There is something about the long hair on a woman that men love… and can’t stop loving.
Sure, the occasional celebrity scores a bob or an above the shoulder cut and still is deemed hot, if not even hotter (re: Charlize Theron, Uma Thurman, Katie Holmes).
But for us “common folk”, it seems like long hair is the way to go, and short hair is the way to lose a guy. (I’m talking the 85%… Gals with stunning bobs no need to be offended and can stop reading here if need be…)
So why is it that guys like long hair more than short hair? And it’s not even just long hair in a bun or ponytail… it’s long hair let down… That’s right. All that hair, untied, not pulled back, blowing in the wind, getting in our faces and having strands stick out centrifugally from our faces… You can’t even hardcore hairspray that “let your hair all down” look… since it needs to “sway” and “blow” and “move” naturally. And of course… the hair flip…
So why long hair, and especially the all let down look? Here are a few reasons I’ve heard.
1. So it doesn’t feel like I’m dating a dude.
My rebuttal: what?!?!?! Does my FACE look like a dude’s? Or that mascara that I use? Or the lips that I have? Hello!! And besides, just because a woman gets a short hairdo, her haircut is usually different than that of a dude’s. Does Katie Holmes haircut look like Brad Pitt’s? Didn’t think so. (Although I can think of many men (read: Justin Beiber?) that have haircuts like Katie Holmes… just sayin…)
2. I can’t play with her hair.
My rebuttal: Aw.. how sweet. Um, we’re not in 2nd grade here. If you’re talking about braiding our hair, that’s just creepy. If you’re talking about pushing the hair out of our eyes, or maybe tucking that lose strand of hair behind our ears… we’re not BALD, we just have shorter hair! And we have bangs, so you can push that hair and tuck that strand. You say, so I can run my fingers through her hair! Ok, we girls “run our fingers through YOUR hair” as well… and sometimes all you give us is a buzzed army cut! but We make due!
3. It just looks more feminine.
My rebuttal: Ok, while I can pull up many many examples on google images showing women that look much more feminine and sophisticated with their short hair looks, I can understand this misunderstanding. Long hair is the thing that many men think differentiate the male to the female (nevermind the lumps on our chest or our softer skin or our different facial features, lack of the adam’s apple, softer/higher voices, etc etc). But truth be told, many women look childish and young with long hair, and especially when it’s all let down, the hair looks messy, she looks unenergetic, unprofessional, etc etc. So the short hair helps some women with looking more sophisticated, and some to look more professional (so they’re taken more seriously at work in a man’s world… read: irony).
4. But the long hair can’t be too long.
My alarming shock: WHAT?! How demanding can you men be regarding our personal head of hair?! You want it to be long, but not too long. So it needs to be past the shoulders (at least), best if it’s a few inches past. But it definitely should not be long to the butt (or even touch the top of the lower back). You guys are crazy. So too long looks childish and unsexy to the men. Interesting. And too short also looks unattractive. So really… you men like: middle ranged hair.
Well, I’ve had long hair (never had the patience to go past the lower back), and short hair (bob style! yay!). I’ve had that middle neck /on the shoulder length. And also had it straight and curled. I honestly think that though men have a “preference” (albeit odd but the majority), I will say that a women’s attractiveness is not all in her hair. So whether you have long hair or short hair, a real man who is really worth your time will see that you’re beautiful as you are and see you as a person worth getting to know. Not write you off because your hair is a few millimeters off his range standard.
And so should you keep your long hair and resist that urge to try out that stylish bob (like on Katie Holmes)? Or should you resist that urge to trim your hair because now you want to grow it out?
Nope. I think you should do what you want with your hair. Try out that bob or keep your short hair. If you love the way you look, people can see that. And I promise you, that’s way more attractive and alluring than the “long, let your hair down, hair flip, flip flip flip” look.
When I just moved into my building in Michigan, I noticed that many of the tenants knew each other. Often times, when I’d be in the elevator (and since we’re on the 26th floor) on the way down, we’d usually pick up many more people. They always would say hi to each other, and sometimes they’d start asking each other about the weather and Michigan football or hockey or baseball, etc. I thought to myself, “Wow, this is a nice community! Everyone knows everyone! It’s weird though, considering that there are a few hundred units here… I wonder how they all know each other? Maybe they have gatherings or parties or common areas?”
One day, I was coming down the elevator, and another person joined me on the elevator. Perhaps that day I looked friendlier or something, not sure what, but this 2nd person said to me “Hi, how are you doing today?” I think, wait, maybe she’s mistaking me for someone else… Um… er… I quickly answer, “Fine, thanks.”
Then another person enters the elevator, and she says the same thing to the 3rd person! Ohhh!! I get it!! They don’t ACTUALLY know each other! They’re just greeting each other!!!
OMG! Then my response “Fine, thanks” is just that automatic East Coast response. I should have said something like, ‘Greeeat! And how are you today?!” I totally forgot to ask her back! Arg! How rude of me!! OMG!
And my tone! OMG! My tone must have that mono-tone from that East Coast, where it sounds like, “thanks for asking, ok, but we don’t have to continue this conversation.”
And my body language!!! As soon as she asked me, I unconsciously started shifting myself towards the wall of the elevator, staring at the button panel, and shoving myself into a small corner. OMG, my body language totally communicates that I’m “anti-social” and “please don’t talk to me”. ARG!!!
I wonder if I offended her? hurt her feelings?!
The elevator stops, we all get out. I’m sure she doesn’t even remember this, or maybe she just thinks I’m weird.
But finally I got it… they don’t all know each other… they just all greet each other.
OHHHHH, okay! Got it… ok, will start altering my behavior now….
This past weekend was my bridal shower and it was …. a WOW!
I walk into the room, and there were silver, white and pink balloons everywhere! The helium type! so they were all floating high with colorful ribbons!
Then came the place settings. There were 3 tables set with shower favors on top of pink plates. The center pieces were mini-towers of cupcakes. But these weren’t just plain cupcakes, but cupcakes with fondant roses, pink roses all over the top of the icing.
On one side of the room, was a full display of food, ranging from pesto pasta, egg salads, smoked salmon, cheese plate, cold cut plate, fruit plate, chips and salsa and guacamole, etc. All my favorite snacks!!! And then, there was a gift table, and it had a mountain of gifts!! It was gorgeous! 🙂 all the colorful wrapping and bags and everything! with the floating balloons in the background!
And… there was a chocolate fountain! With pretzels, marshmallows, animal crackers, etc etc other mediums to indulge the chocolate with!
😀 So awesome!
During the present-opening time, I got gifts from all over the country! Some women were unable to attend, but were so thoughtful to prepare a gift from afar and mailed it in to the bridesmaids to bring to the shower!! The bridesmaids took photos of me with each of the guests at the shower, and immediately had them printed in color and hi-res, so that each guest can make a scrapbook page with the photo! At the end, they bound up the book, and I went home with a scrapbook of photos and well-wishes of my friends!
After present opening time, a group of girls sat on the ground, and started using the ribbons and wrapping and tissue papers to fold into paper roses and paper carnations and dandelions. They gathered over a dozen of the paper flowers they made, with the many colorful ribbons (from the balloons and the presents), and made me a fake bouquet! Apparently, that’s the practice bouquet I’m to use during the rehearsal!
Then I saw the 20+ girls from various walks of my life come together in one room, talking, laughing, eating, sharing. It was an amazing feeling! And my bridesmaids, who only met each other because of this wedding, seemed to have become good friends and an amazing team! 🙂
I have an all-star team as my bridal party! And the many girls that aren’t bridesmaids, but also wonderful also volunteered to help set up and clean up! 😀
Thank you, ladies! This was awesome!! 😀
And yes, I went home and tried on many of the gifts, and they were all really thoughtful and nice! 🙂 I feel so loved!! It really makes me understand that idea of a “shower”! It’s like the last time the girl gets to hang out with her good friends, etc etc. And in my case, I’m actually moving away~ so it kinda does feel like a mini farewell party… or a giving-away party… like I’m being lovingly given away by my girl friends! 😥 sniff… tears of joy! 😉