We can be set FREE from our brokenness, for $19.99!

JK, it’s actually for free… not some Jenny Craig Program for the heart or something…

Last week, my women’s Bible study group was studying about brokenness. And as I was one of the youngest in the group, I didn’t feel like I had much life experience to share. People shared about broken relationships with spouses and family members and parents. People shared about death and mental disorders and other severe chronic ailments…

Mine? A breakup… sounds quite silly and young… actually. Continue reading

And I was having a good time… you damn racist

I went out with some of my new friends that I made in Michigan.

I was out in Royal Oak, the supposed “rittenhouse” and yuppie area of Michigan.

Yah right.

I was out there, we were at a bar and restaurant. This dude who was WHITE came in with a fro, told us it was with his company, cuz they were doing an “event” (not sure why it had to be a fro???),  but he was sitting next to us.

He asked us why I was there, I said I was new around the area. He said, why? I said my husband was a doctor and I just moved from the East Coast. He said his brother was also a doctor from this small hospital in Michigan. I was like, ok, great. I can’t even remember what happened next, but very quickly, he said I was Asian. I said I’m very aware that I am. Then he called me black. (WTF?!?!? I’m ASIAN, BUT how am I BLACK???). Then he proceeded to tell me that I don’t belong around here. And before I could even defend myself, he walked off. To tell the next few people in the restaurant loudly that I don’t belong there.
Continue reading

Midwest doesn’t like Obama… what?!?!

So a few more items that I found that may hinder my attempted subtle transition into the Midwest… I’m trying to be inconspicuous, and fit right in… Looks like it’s going to be a lot harder.

First of all, people in Michigan speak with an accent. I am NOT joking. It’s very slight, but it’s most apparent in how they pronounce their “a”‘s, particularly the short “a” sounds…

Tangent.

Second of all, everyone (ok, fine, not everyone, many people….) is Christian and Republican. (obviously excluding places like Ann Arbor where there is high percentage of high education, research, teaching, education….) Apparently, it’s common for dinner table conversations to be bashing Obama and the administration.
Now, obviously, as left as NYC and CA can be… people aren’t always 100% pro-Obama and think he’s God’s chosen one… However, we also know to be PC and polite and not be bashing a certain side of politics in mixed company. What makes you think everyone here is Republican?! And even if everyone is Republican, that doesn’t mean everyone agrees!

It just makes me really uncomfortable. When people start going on and on and on, and suddenly if they bring up religion + all these other things, then I am not sure. I should stand up for what I think, right? I shouldn’t feel like I’m being silenced. But it’s strange, we’re talking about a “free country” and a “free market” yet suddenly, I don’t feel like my speech is very free anymore… We don’t have to agree, but to be condemning and mean is just not okay (no matter what corner of the earth you’re from…)

And moreover, WHY ARE YOU STILL YELLING?? Is it really the policies? Or perhaps its the race that you’re bothered by, but since you can’t openly complain about that (against federal law of racism) then you displace your dissatisfaction and target his policies and parties. Look, I don’t necessarily agree with all of Obama’s decisions and policies either, but I don’t say horrific things and bash the leader of our country. I still try to give the man some basic respect, you know, the ones promised and mandated by the Constitution? Oh, and btw, I’m also Christian. So now what? Why are you telling me that the Democrats are the devil?

Obama is already in the 3rd year of his term, if anything, why don’t you focus on who’s running? As opposed to, “Let me count the ways of his mistakes, and though I can’t do better, nor do I understand or know better, let me just complain, instead of using my complaints and energy in a positive way to influence the community, you know, in that same way that you think Obama isn’t doing well.”
Ohh, but of course, you’re Republican and Christian (?! I don’t see how this is relevant here…), and you think there should be a new development on ways to euthanize poor and sick people (oh, and don’t forget the immigrants) so that YOUR tax dollars don’t have to pay a cent.

Except, why do you have income today? Don’t say “because my own two hands got me here.” That’s never true. I went to some of the most expensive schools in this country, and I KNOW that I can’t ever say “by my own two hands,” because it’s just NOT true. It’s so untrue.

If I were born a different race, or a different family background, how about a different SES? Then what? I could work with my “own two hands” but I wouldn’t have the guidance “towards what should I work for”, “how should I work for”

ok, stepping back. This blog was never supposed to discuss politics.

Anyhow, I just found another obstacle in my transition to Michigan. Great…

I’m not saying I have to find friends that are pro-Obama, not at all. But I hope I’m not clamored with hoards of people/politics bashing company… Hopefully, we can have intelligent and cordial discussions, where we can talk about our thoughts and opinions. I always want to know what people think and why they think so, even if it’s worlds apart. But it shouldn’t become a battle, or attacks, or anything mean and barbaric.

Anyhow, I guess I shouldn’t hang my Obama poster back in 2008 anywhere visible. I kept it, thinking it will be an awesome memorabilia, since it really was our first black president ever. Thinking I’ll keep something to show my kids “I was there!”

But now… I guess some parts of the country think that it’s a disgrace, and want nothing more than to scrutinize and crucify his every move.

Good job, Midwest America. Finally overcoming 300 years of racism, and you just set us back to the 60s. Good job.

Taking the day off for Good Friday?

Some people at the office were really shocked that I came in today… They said because I am so religious and because it is Good Friday. (They actually called it Easter Friday…)

Then they proceeded to ask me which day was it that Jesus turned into the Easter Bunny… Somehow, I find this really offensive and insensitive. Can I say this is some type of discrimination?? Should I confront them?

How did Christ respond to ridicule and shaming? I guess this is exactly the right season/time to meditate on it.

Should I have taken the day off? Am I now not as good a Christian? But I also have good work ethics, if this day wasn’t allowed to be off, I can’t really just declare a holiday for myself.

I asked around my friends from church, and everyone was still hard at work, diligently and faithfully working on what God has put in front of them…

How are weddings this annoying

He doesn’t realize…

that I’m just holding my breath and crying silently.

I can’t believe that weddings and plannings and everything in between causes so much crying and fighting.

We are on webcam, I’m out of focus.

I’m out of the field of view… that I’m answering, “Uh huh”

but I’m crying, I’m hurt, this is ridiculous.

I hate weddings.

Is the third date the turning point?

Many people will say that the third date will make or break things. Others say they’ve never heard of this before.

First date: First impressions, people are putting their best foot forward, people are nervous, there’s more polite chit chat and both are great listeners. (Obviously, this is in the best case scenarios, not including people who only like to hear themselves talk, people who chew loudly and with their mouths open, etc etc…)

Second date: Two people are a bit more comfortable with each other. They obviously want to give the other person a chance since they’re at another date. (But it could be because the first date went so well, or it could be that they’re about to drop the whole thing… but wanted to give the person a second chance after a screwed up first date.)

Third date: By now, there are two dates under your belt. You should be able to see them on their “best behavior”, perhaps a few mishaps due to jitters and nerves, and a more relaxed comfortable side. Here is a graph for all possible scenarios.

A. You’re pretty much just hoping for this magic to continue, and you want to ask them to marry you, but they might throw you in a mental institute for that. So by the third date, you better say something, or else it’s just makes the other person feel like they’re the only one who thought everything went well, and you don’t like them as much as they are interested in you.

B. You saved yourself! (or vice versa) The first date was horrible, but you guys believed in second chances, and the second date was awesome! Why was the first date so bad? Well, you can blame it on the nerves, trying too hard to make a good impression, still trying to figure out how both people relate to each other, etc. So the fact that the first date had some mishaps and boohoo’s… understandable. So now you’re on the 3rd, trying to break the tie right now, it’s 1-1 (one good one bad), but the second date is weighted heavier, since there’s more possibility that each person is being more “themselves” on the second date than on the first date.

C. So the first date was amazing, but the second date was not too great. This scenario is much more concerning than B. In B, there are the nerves, the anxiety, overly concerned about the food, the hair, the clothes, the makeup, etc… But for this scenario, it’s more concerning, because this may mean the you guys don’t really work when you’re truly “being yourself”. And while the first date was wonderful, because both were on their best behavior, the second date tells a lot more about the personalities, values, etc. So if the second date bombed… it’s almost a foreshadow that the two people might be great acquaintances, but not for serious dating.

D. Both first and second dates were horrid. Don’t even know why you’re trying for a third. Maybe it’s for that saying, “Third time’s the charm.” But… don’t have your hopes too high that the tides will change. Chances are: if you didn’t like their first impression (best behavior), aaand … you didn’t like their relaxed, more realistic side… then … you probably won’t like this person even after the third date. But hey! Kudos for your courage and resilience!

“I don’t want to jinx myself…”

I overheard this conversation on the bus the other day.

Two guys were talking to each other, let’s call them Adam and Brett.

“How’d your date go?” Brett asks Adam.

Adam starts talking about this girl, that she’s awesome and they had a great time. And how they’re going to see each other again and how he’s really excited.

Brett then asks, “Well that’s great! So you guys are probably going to get together, huh?”

Adam says, “No man. I don’t want to go there. I don’t even want to mention it. You know? I feel like if say that, I’m going to ruin things. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions till I see it.”
“Why?” Brett asks. Adam answers, “Because of 3 things that might happen. 1, I don’t want to jinx it.

2, I don’t want to overthink it and get too nervous the next time I see her. 3, I don’t want to fall head over heels and then get hurt.”

Brett disagrees, “Alright, man. Maybe that works for you. But I don’t really agree with that mentality. I say if you’ve found someone that matches so well, I would go all in.”

 

Interesting discussion.
I see both points, and as a girl, how would I weigh in?

1. Honestly, Adam, if you go in with such low expectations, I guess you’re right in saying that at least you won’t be disappointed. But that also means that you might be bringing your A-game. And if this girl is actually such a great catch, you’d better bring your A-game. Or she’ll think you’re not interested, or you’re just playing around, or that you think she’s not worth it.

All those points are contrary to what you’re thinking. But if you go into defensive mode and

protective gear, and you try to aim low so you “don’t get hurt”, then chances are, you will.

2. For girls, listen up! This is way cute! This guy is pretty much gushing about a girl that he really digs, but guess what? He’s worried he’ll be nervous next time! And he’s trying to use Jedi-mind tricks on himself so he can keep his cool the next time he’s around her.

Are you ever super self-conscience or nervous during a date? Don’t worry, because there is high probability that the guy is nervous, too!

3. Go, Brett!! I agree, if you find a girl that is worth something, you should at least give it your

100%. That’s the reason why there’s the term “put your best foot forward.” And also the boy scout motto of “Being prepared.” So if you found a girl that’s more than just average, you should go all in and try your best!

You hear the most interesting things on the bus…