We can be set FREE from our brokenness, for $19.99!

JK, it’s actually for free… not some Jenny Craig Program for the heart or something…

Last week, my women’s Bible study group was studying about brokenness. And as I was one of the youngest in the group, I didn’t feel like I had much life experience to share. People shared about broken relationships with spouses and family members and parents. People shared about death and mental disorders and other severe chronic ailments…

Mine? A breakup… sounds quite silly and young… actually. Continue reading

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Midwest doesn’t like Obama… what?!?!

So a few more items that I found that may hinder my attempted subtle transition into the Midwest… I’m trying to be inconspicuous, and fit right in… Looks like it’s going to be a lot harder.

First of all, people in Michigan speak with an accent. I am NOT joking. It’s very slight, but it’s most apparent in how they pronounce their “a”‘s, particularly the short “a” sounds…

Tangent.

Second of all, everyone (ok, fine, not everyone, many people….) is Christian and Republican. (obviously excluding places like Ann Arbor where there is high percentage of high education, research, teaching, education….) Apparently, it’s common for dinner table conversations to be bashing Obama and the administration.
Now, obviously, as left as NYC and CA can be… people aren’t always 100% pro-Obama and think he’s God’s chosen one… However, we also know to be PC and polite and not be bashing a certain side of politics in mixed company. What makes you think everyone here is Republican?! And even if everyone is Republican, that doesn’t mean everyone agrees!

It just makes me really uncomfortable. When people start going on and on and on, and suddenly if they bring up religion + all these other things, then I am not sure. I should stand up for what I think, right? I shouldn’t feel like I’m being silenced. But it’s strange, we’re talking about a “free country” and a “free market” yet suddenly, I don’t feel like my speech is very free anymore… We don’t have to agree, but to be condemning and mean is just not okay (no matter what corner of the earth you’re from…)

And moreover, WHY ARE YOU STILL YELLING?? Is it really the policies? Or perhaps its the race that you’re bothered by, but since you can’t openly complain about that (against federal law of racism) then you displace your dissatisfaction and target his policies and parties. Look, I don’t necessarily agree with all of Obama’s decisions and policies either, but I don’t say horrific things and bash the leader of our country. I still try to give the man some basic respect, you know, the ones promised and mandated by the Constitution? Oh, and btw, I’m also Christian. So now what? Why are you telling me that the Democrats are the devil?

Obama is already in the 3rd year of his term, if anything, why don’t you focus on who’s running? As opposed to, “Let me count the ways of his mistakes, and though I can’t do better, nor do I understand or know better, let me just complain, instead of using my complaints and energy in a positive way to influence the community, you know, in that same way that you think Obama isn’t doing well.”
Ohh, but of course, you’re Republican and Christian (?! I don’t see how this is relevant here…), and you think there should be a new development on ways to euthanize poor and sick people (oh, and don’t forget the immigrants) so that YOUR tax dollars don’t have to pay a cent.

Except, why do you have income today? Don’t say “because my own two hands got me here.” That’s never true. I went to some of the most expensive schools in this country, and I KNOW that I can’t ever say “by my own two hands,” because it’s just NOT true. It’s so untrue.

If I were born a different race, or a different family background, how about a different SES? Then what? I could work with my “own two hands” but I wouldn’t have the guidance “towards what should I work for”, “how should I work for”

ok, stepping back. This blog was never supposed to discuss politics.

Anyhow, I just found another obstacle in my transition to Michigan. Great…

I’m not saying I have to find friends that are pro-Obama, not at all. But I hope I’m not clamored with hoards of people/politics bashing company… Hopefully, we can have intelligent and cordial discussions, where we can talk about our thoughts and opinions. I always want to know what people think and why they think so, even if it’s worlds apart. But it shouldn’t become a battle, or attacks, or anything mean and barbaric.

Anyhow, I guess I shouldn’t hang my Obama poster back in 2008 anywhere visible. I kept it, thinking it will be an awesome memorabilia, since it really was our first black president ever. Thinking I’ll keep something to show my kids “I was there!”

But now… I guess some parts of the country think that it’s a disgrace, and want nothing more than to scrutinize and crucify his every move.

Good job, Midwest America. Finally overcoming 300 years of racism, and you just set us back to the 60s. Good job.

Taking the day off for Good Friday?

Some people at the office were really shocked that I came in today… They said because I am so religious and because it is Good Friday. (They actually called it Easter Friday…)

Then they proceeded to ask me which day was it that Jesus turned into the Easter Bunny… Somehow, I find this really offensive and insensitive. Can I say this is some type of discrimination?? Should I confront them?

How did Christ respond to ridicule and shaming? I guess this is exactly the right season/time to meditate on it.

Should I have taken the day off? Am I now not as good a Christian? But I also have good work ethics, if this day wasn’t allowed to be off, I can’t really just declare a holiday for myself.

I asked around my friends from church, and everyone was still hard at work, diligently and faithfully working on what God has put in front of them…

How are weddings this annoying

He doesn’t realize…

that I’m just holding my breath and crying silently.

I can’t believe that weddings and plannings and everything in between causes so much crying and fighting.

We are on webcam, I’m out of focus.

I’m out of the field of view… that I’m answering, “Uh huh”

but I’m crying, I’m hurt, this is ridiculous.

I hate weddings.

“I don’t want to jinx myself…”

I overheard this conversation on the bus the other day.

Two guys were talking to each other, let’s call them Adam and Brett.

“How’d your date go?” Brett asks Adam.

Adam starts talking about this girl, that she’s awesome and they had a great time. And how they’re going to see each other again and how he’s really excited.

Brett then asks, “Well that’s great! So you guys are probably going to get together, huh?”

Adam says, “No man. I don’t want to go there. I don’t even want to mention it. You know? I feel like if say that, I’m going to ruin things. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions till I see it.”
“Why?” Brett asks. Adam answers, “Because of 3 things that might happen. 1, I don’t want to jinx it.

2, I don’t want to overthink it and get too nervous the next time I see her. 3, I don’t want to fall head over heels and then get hurt.”

Brett disagrees, “Alright, man. Maybe that works for you. But I don’t really agree with that mentality. I say if you’ve found someone that matches so well, I would go all in.”

 

Interesting discussion.
I see both points, and as a girl, how would I weigh in?

1. Honestly, Adam, if you go in with such low expectations, I guess you’re right in saying that at least you won’t be disappointed. But that also means that you might be bringing your A-game. And if this girl is actually such a great catch, you’d better bring your A-game. Or she’ll think you’re not interested, or you’re just playing around, or that you think she’s not worth it.

All those points are contrary to what you’re thinking. But if you go into defensive mode and

protective gear, and you try to aim low so you “don’t get hurt”, then chances are, you will.

2. For girls, listen up! This is way cute! This guy is pretty much gushing about a girl that he really digs, but guess what? He’s worried he’ll be nervous next time! And he’s trying to use Jedi-mind tricks on himself so he can keep his cool the next time he’s around her.

Are you ever super self-conscience or nervous during a date? Don’t worry, because there is high probability that the guy is nervous, too!

3. Go, Brett!! I agree, if you find a girl that is worth something, you should at least give it your

100%. That’s the reason why there’s the term “put your best foot forward.” And also the boy scout motto of “Being prepared.” So if you found a girl that’s more than just average, you should go all in and try your best!

You hear the most interesting things on the bus…

No such thing as “friends with benefits”

There is no such thing.

What is your view point of it? Is it the greatest arrangement ever? Or that this is a model that will never sustain?

So currently, the viewpoint of the market is:
This arrangement is the ideal, ultimate awesome-ness for a guy. Being able to have physical intimacy without having to endure the burdens of a relationship.
And for the girl, if she’s able to maintain emotional distance and be able to hope for something more, then it would be a good arrangement, too.

Some of our friends discussed this topic in depth. And here are some of our thoughts.

This model… sucks. And it’s very deceiving, for both parties. Because you call it “friends”, you think it’s a friendly situation and they’ll still always be able to “stay friends”. But it’s not. Someone ALWAYS gets hurt. ALWAYS. People often think it’s the girl, but guys are just as susceptible.

After awhile, someone always wants more, whether it be more stability, or more commitment, or more time, or exposure and accessibility to the rest of the other person’s life.
But unless both people are on the same page constantly, there will be hurt feelings and broken hearts.

We use this term in hopes that we can get closer to this person without suffocating them or scaring them with a relationship, so we offer no-strings-attached physical intimacy. Or we hope to be able to enjoy physical intimacy with someone without leading them on or keeping them completely platonic and with no emotions. Except sex is a very emotional and intimate thing. Someone always falls for the other person, either before the “arrangement” began, or after it started.

The “friends with benefit” thing just doesn’t work.

Psalm 113
6 who stoops down to look
on the heavens and the earth?

This reminds me of the scenery from Acts 7 when Stephen was being persecuted, and it said that Stephen looked up and saw Christ peering down at him, standing and looking down. Perhaps eagerly, and very much involved and aware of what’s going  to his people and his beloved ones.
I think it’s a very comforting feeling and knowledge when we can trust and believe that God is highly involved in our lives and yearn to be.

Recap from Acts 7, David Guzik Commentary:
c. Jesus standing at the right hand of God: It is significant to note Jesus is standing here, as opposed to the more common description of Him sitting (Matthew 26:64; Colossians 3:1) at the right hand of the Father.
i. Why is Jesus standing here? Jesus stands in solidarity with Stephen at this moment of crisis. He does not impassionately react to the problems of His people.
ii. We might also consider that Jesus is standing to give a “standing ovation” to Stephen, whose fate makes him unique among believers. Stephen is the first of all martyrs among the followers of Jesus.

Perhaps that’s some comfort to us, no matter what situation we’re in right now, that Christ is not cold and aloof to us, but passionately involved and aware and engaged.

another versed that touched me:
9 He settles the childless woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.

It seems to say that God will satisfy all the desires and yearning of our hearts and that even the woman with the sufferings of being unable to have a child can have the joys of a mother because God gives joy and content.
I guess that can go to say God can settle the fleeting hearts of the single people, who yearn to date and be in a relationship. And that He can satisfy them wholly and completely. as though a happy mother/wife/girlfriend, God can settle the heart to that extent.
Dunno if sometimes you still get bogged down about the dating thing, but I thought maybe this verse would encourage you, that there’s a promise and a place which says that our God will settle the childless woman as a happy mother. Thus perhaps for our age group/times, it is that God, right now, will settle the single woman’s heart as a happy wife.
I guess it also means for people who are unemployed or unhappy with their jobs, that God can settle their tumultuous hearts and give them joy and peace.
And the hurting people and broken hearts and families.
That God can settle them. This God who stoops down to look at our world, our earth. This Christ that stands and is intently engaged with our situations.

mmm… very encouraging, and very touching, very amazingly comforting and… makes me stare in awe. a bit shaken.