It’s a beautiful sunny day (yes, still cold, but there’s SUN!!) here in Michigan. And what should we do?! Well, of course, go get a window seat in one of the many riverside restaurants as we watch the sun-glistening waters of the rivers, the few ships and tankers floating up along, and enjoy the sunset as we ENJOY HAPPY HOUR!!! 🙂 woot! Leisurely enjoy a cocktail or two, and many delightful appetizers and small plates as we spend a weekday evening with friends at happy hour! I love life! I love life like that!
So I went back to Philadelphia for 9 days! I was so happy!
I got off the plane in Philadelphia, and suddenly realized that I started to smile at people!!!! Oh my goodness. Me?! I started being unable to control myself and would automatically look people in the eye and smile at them. People in the airport (I had just gotten off my plane from Michigan to Philadelphia) were NOT smiling back at me, but in fact giving me strange looks.
Notice that it’s singular.
But I’ve noticed one big thing is that moving here has made me realized how rude the East Coast is… i.e. how rude I used to (still can be??) to be. And since it’s for survival, you just become so toughened up and used to the rudeness. You grow a thick shell. When someone yells at you or honks or yells at another driver or screams out their window, it’s no big deal. You shrug it off, or shake your fist, or yell back, whichever it is… you keep on going about with your life.
Here… I have not seen people yelling or shouting or shaking fists (or even shaking their heads) at people.
I’m in the tundra…
It’s been snowing since last night and it’s still snowing and it’s already noon here. WHERE IS THE SUN?!
I just checked the temperature for today. It’s supposed to be about 19F here in Michigan tonight and I’m supposed to go to a formal holiday party. Say What?!
It’s currently in the 50F’s in Philadelphia. I still have so many of my 40F-50F outfits that I haven’t worn yet, and Michigan has already sped up it’s snowmakers… and it’s now in the teens?! I did not expect this! I was still dilly dallying in my peep-toe shoes and mid-heavy jackets. Yes, we have seasons on the East Coast.
That probably answers why a week ago when I went to dinner with my girl friend (out of the total of 2 friends I currently have in Michigan), she told me to get into boots instead of my peep-toe heels. To which is laughed, “What? Wear boots to a girls’ dinner out in November? Please!”
Ok, I see what she means, there is obviously no autumn here. I still have yet to wear skirts and dresses with boots… Oh c’mon, you know what I mean! It’s when the weather is cold enough to wear boots, but still warm enough that you can wear a skirt/dress without having to wear leggings underneath the dress and boots. Right? Can I get an Amen?
Ok, hopefully I’m not the only one who calculates weather and depends heavily on the gradient of the weather for trying out different combinations of outfits. (Men, that’s why we need so many different coats, shoes, clothes in general. Our wardrobe season spans much more than just the summer and winter. We also have cool summer, hot summer, early spring, wet spring, windy spring, overly hot spring, early autumn end of summer, crisp autumn, warm autumn, cold autumn, sunny but cold winter, gloomy winter, snowy winter, freezing look-like-a-marshmellow winter, sunny and warm winter, etc etc…) But this morning, looking at the piles of snow in Michigan makes me realize that I may need to:
1. Put away my late autumn early winter wardrobe, fitted for the only the East Coast.
2. Hurry and quickly wear those early winter (still slightly warm) outfits before it gets colder (apparently it gets worse around here. omg…) and even though it’s gonna be a bit cold, I need to just suck it up and get through it. Live in my own East Coast winter…
I choose 2.
(Wow, I feel really shallow that I had such a long inner dialogue just about the clothes regarding the mini-seasons*.)
*mini-seasons: my new term that describes the in between seasons from the major four (Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter). See above for more detailed breakdown.
So no matter if you’re driving around NYC or Philadelphia, you always… and I mean ALWAYS gas up in New Jersey. Why? Because on average, NJ gas is about 40-50 cents cheaper. Yes, I know we’ll have to pay for all those bridge tolls and NJ turnpike is a nightmare… but still, when we make that NJ trip, we fill up our gas tanks and get some groceries in their huge Wegmans and go shop in their crazy malls. Free clothes tax, remember?
So the cheap gas is why we fill up in NJ, but there is another thing that is an added on bonus…. FREE SERVICE GAS STATIONS!! Actually, it’s not always the best thing. If you open up your door, you WILL get yelled at by the gas station attendants. Apparently, it is the NJ law that all gas stations are full service. It is also the law that a customer CANNOT pump their own gas (I’m not complaining~!).
So… after being completely spoiled with not only cheap gas but also someone pumping your gas all the time… I realize that I don’t know how to pump gas. (Taiwan gas stations are also full service).
I’m in Michigan now, and there is no more full service gas stations. I have been struggling. Like I forgot to open my gas tank cover as I got out the car today, and I did the whole swipe your credit card thing. Then I got the nozzle (which took me a few times to figure out how to unhook) and realized I needed to open my car door, to get to my gas tank door button thing. So with the nozzle in hand, I ballerina over the hose, open the open door, pull the tank door, close my car door, all the while dripping gas…. gross.
And it’s COLD now, too! It’s freezing!
So now… I have pumped my own gas… twice. Yessss!
As I drive out of the gas station, I look at the high non-NJ prices, and am really sad that I can no longer sit in my warm car, as I roll the window or crack the door to say “Regular” or “Premium” and hand them my credit card as I wait for the tank to fill.
I came home kind of sad today. But then again, I remember that I’m really just doing what the rest of the 49 states are doing, freeze while gassing. Just decades later than most.
There is something about the long hair on a woman that men love… and can’t stop loving.
Sure, the occasional celebrity scores a bob or an above the shoulder cut and still is deemed hot, if not even hotter (re: Charlize Theron, Uma Thurman, Katie Holmes).
But for us “common folk”, it seems like long hair is the way to go, and short hair is the way to lose a guy. (I’m talking the 85%… Gals with stunning bobs no need to be offended and can stop reading here if need be…)
So why is it that guys like long hair more than short hair? And it’s not even just long hair in a bun or ponytail… it’s long hair let down… That’s right. All that hair, untied, not pulled back, blowing in the wind, getting in our faces and having strands stick out centrifugally from our faces… You can’t even hardcore hairspray that “let your hair all down” look… since it needs to “sway” and “blow” and “move” naturally. And of course… the hair flip…
So why long hair, and especially the all let down look? Here are a few reasons I’ve heard.
1. So it doesn’t feel like I’m dating a dude.
My rebuttal: what?!?!?! Does my FACE look like a dude’s? Or that mascara that I use? Or the lips that I have? Hello!! And besides, just because a woman gets a short hairdo, her haircut is usually different than that of a dude’s. Does Katie Holmes haircut look like Brad Pitt’s? Didn’t think so. (Although I can think of many men (read: Justin Beiber?) that have haircuts like Katie Holmes… just sayin…)
2. I can’t play with her hair.
My rebuttal: Aw.. how sweet. Um, we’re not in 2nd grade here. If you’re talking about braiding our hair, that’s just creepy. If you’re talking about pushing the hair out of our eyes, or maybe tucking that lose strand of hair behind our ears… we’re not BALD, we just have shorter hair! And we have bangs, so you can push that hair and tuck that strand. You say, so I can run my fingers through her hair! Ok, we girls “run our fingers through YOUR hair” as well… and sometimes all you give us is a buzzed army cut! but We make due!
3. It just looks more feminine.
My rebuttal: Ok, while I can pull up many many examples on google images showing women that look much more feminine and sophisticated with their short hair looks, I can understand this misunderstanding. Long hair is the thing that many men think differentiate the male to the female (nevermind the lumps on our chest or our softer skin or our different facial features, lack of the adam’s apple, softer/higher voices, etc etc). But truth be told, many women look childish and young with long hair, and especially when it’s all let down, the hair looks messy, she looks unenergetic, unprofessional, etc etc. So the short hair helps some women with looking more sophisticated, and some to look more professional (so they’re taken more seriously at work in a man’s world… read: irony).
4. But the long hair can’t be too long.
My alarming shock: WHAT?! How demanding can you men be regarding our personal head of hair?! You want it to be long, but not too long. So it needs to be past the shoulders (at least), best if it’s a few inches past. But it definitely should not be long to the butt (or even touch the top of the lower back). You guys are crazy. So too long looks childish and unsexy to the men. Interesting. And too short also looks unattractive. So really… you men like: middle ranged hair.
Well, I’ve had long hair (never had the patience to go past the lower back), and short hair (bob style! yay!). I’ve had that middle neck /on the shoulder length. And also had it straight and curled. I honestly think that though men have a “preference” (albeit odd but the majority), I will say that a women’s attractiveness is not all in her hair. So whether you have long hair or short hair, a real man who is really worth your time will see that you’re beautiful as you are and see you as a person worth getting to know. Not write you off because your hair is a few millimeters off his range standard.
And so should you keep your long hair and resist that urge to try out that stylish bob (like on Katie Holmes)? Or should you resist that urge to trim your hair because now you want to grow it out?
Nope. I think you should do what you want with your hair. Try out that bob or keep your short hair. If you love the way you look, people can see that. And I promise you, that’s way more attractive and alluring than the “long, let your hair down, hair flip, flip flip flip” look.
When I just moved into my building in Michigan, I noticed that many of the tenants knew each other. Often times, when I’d be in the elevator (and since we’re on the 26th floor) on the way down, we’d usually pick up many more people. They always would say hi to each other, and sometimes they’d start asking each other about the weather and Michigan football or hockey or baseball, etc. I thought to myself, “Wow, this is a nice community! Everyone knows everyone! It’s weird though, considering that there are a few hundred units here… I wonder how they all know each other? Maybe they have gatherings or parties or common areas?”
One day, I was coming down the elevator, and another person joined me on the elevator. Perhaps that day I looked friendlier or something, not sure what, but this 2nd person said to me “Hi, how are you doing today?” I think, wait, maybe she’s mistaking me for someone else… Um… er… I quickly answer, “Fine, thanks.”
Then another person enters the elevator, and she says the same thing to the 3rd person! Ohhh!! I get it!! They don’t ACTUALLY know each other! They’re just greeting each other!!!
OMG! Then my response “Fine, thanks” is just that automatic East Coast response. I should have said something like, ‘Greeeat! And how are you today?!” I totally forgot to ask her back! Arg! How rude of me!! OMG!
And my tone! OMG! My tone must have that mono-tone from that East Coast, where it sounds like, “thanks for asking, ok, but we don’t have to continue this conversation.”
And my body language!!! As soon as she asked me, I unconsciously started shifting myself towards the wall of the elevator, staring at the button panel, and shoving myself into a small corner. OMG, my body language totally communicates that I’m “anti-social” and “please don’t talk to me”. ARG!!!
I wonder if I offended her? hurt her feelings?!
The elevator stops, we all get out. I’m sure she doesn’t even remember this, or maybe she just thinks I’m weird.
But finally I got it… they don’t all know each other… they just all greet each other.
OHHHHH, okay! Got it… ok, will start altering my behavior now….