My friend just came out of a date… a first date…
“How was it?” I asked.
“The conversation was good, everything was fine. Until when the bill came… And then he put down cash… for his portion of the bill,” she answered.
“What?! Didn’t you guys just go for happy hour?” I asked.
“Yah, I’m not really sure what happened. Maybe I did something wrong?” she mumbles.
“Whatever, go get dinner, you must be starving, he didn’t even feed you. Go eat. I’m sorry, I can see why you’re disappointed and a bit confused.”
My friend started wondering if perhaps the conversation went bad, or if she said something wrong. No, girl, it’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong.
My friend was so caught off guard that she just quickly pulled out her credit card to pay for the rest of the bill. After this whole chaos, the guy actually texts her telling her he wants to hang out again, etc etc, and calling her “hot” which she sees more as a trashy term than a compliment. And no, she hasn’t responded yet. (Good going, girl!)
When I took this call, I was in mid-call with my fiance. And when I told him about this date, he just said one word… repeatedly, “Douche.”
I understand that there is this controversy about who pays… but around here, in a city, when you’re a young professional in their late 20s to 40s, usually, on the first date (at least), the guy picks up the bill. It doesn’t have to be dinner, it doesn’t have to be the most expensive restaurant, but to put down cash only for yourself is truly an awkward, rude and confusing gesture.
Ok, maybe you realized you’re not interested anymore, maybe she burped in front of you or picked her teeth/nose… regardless… Be a MAN and pay for the lady that YOU asked out. YOU chose the time, place and date. You were the one who determined the budget for this meal.
You know this whole situation is just a series of terrible moves when another man upon hearing this laments, “The gentleman is a dying breed.”