Is the third date the turning point?

Many people will say that the third date will make or break things. Others say they’ve never heard of this before.

First date: First impressions, people are putting their best foot forward, people are nervous, there’s more polite chit chat and both are great listeners. (Obviously, this is in the best case scenarios, not including people who only like to hear themselves talk, people who chew loudly and with their mouths open, etc etc…)

Second date: Two people are a bit more comfortable with each other. They obviously want to give the other person a chance since they’re at another date. (But it could be because the first date went so well, or it could be that they’re about to drop the whole thing… but wanted to give the person a second chance after a screwed up first date.)

Third date: By now, there are two dates under your belt. You should be able to see them on their “best behavior”, perhaps a few mishaps due to jitters and nerves, and a more relaxed comfortable side. Here is a graph for all possible scenarios.

A. You’re pretty much just hoping for this magic to continue, and you want to ask them to marry you, but they might throw you in a mental institute for that. So by the third date, you better say something, or else it’s just makes the other person feel like they’re the only one who thought everything went well, and you don’t like them as much as they are interested in you.

B. You saved yourself! (or vice versa) The first date was horrible, but you guys believed in second chances, and the second date was awesome! Why was the first date so bad? Well, you can blame it on the nerves, trying too hard to make a good impression, still trying to figure out how both people relate to each other, etc. So the fact that the first date had some mishaps and boohoo’s… understandable. So now you’re on the 3rd, trying to break the tie right now, it’s 1-1 (one good one bad), but the second date is weighted heavier, since there’s more possibility that each person is being more “themselves” on the second date than on the first date.

C. So the first date was amazing, but the second date was not too great. This scenario is much more concerning than B. In B, there are the nerves, the anxiety, overly concerned about the food, the hair, the clothes, the makeup, etc… But for this scenario, it’s more concerning, because this may mean the you guys don’t really work when you’re truly “being yourself”. And while the first date was wonderful, because both were on their best behavior, the second date tells a lot more about the personalities, values, etc. So if the second date bombed… it’s almost a foreshadow that the two people might be great acquaintances, but not for serious dating.

D. Both first and second dates were horrid. Don’t even know why you’re trying for a third. Maybe it’s for that saying, “Third time’s the charm.” But… don’t have your hopes too high that the tides will change. Chances are: if you didn’t like their first impression (best behavior), aaand … you didn’t like their relaxed, more realistic side… then … you probably won’t like this person even after the third date. But hey! Kudos for your courage and resilience!


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