A good friend of mine accidentally found out that her ex got a new girlfriend again. And meanwhile, she just broke it off with a guy that she had been briefly seeing.
“I don’t understand! How can he find a stable girlfriend first when he was the one cheating!?”
Good point. Why is that? If he is the type of guy that cheated on girls, why does it seem so easy for him to find a new girlfriend, but so difficult for the girl to find a new boyfriend? Is there something wrong with her then? That she has trouble finding a boyfriend?!
No. I think (and I may be biased, since I’m a friend…) that after that hurtful relationship, she realized that it takes a lot more than a cute smile and a sense of humor for a guy to really BE a CATCH. She started looking for guys that were honest, dependable, responsible, etc etc. Other characteristics that aren’t always easily found in just your everyday guy off the streets. Her standards went up, because she understood what she was looking for. She grew up. She realized that cute first dates and sweet text messages aren’t necessarily a sign for a sustainable relationship.
The guy? Perhaps he’s just looking for fun, for love, for a girl to take out on the streets. Perhaps he hasn’t changed much, and that cute smile and funny conversations he uses are still working with many other girls; girls which only look for that.
So don’t be upset. Just because you haven’t found a person yet, does not mean you lose the “race” (if there ever was one to begin with…). You just grew up, got smarter, you see a bit clearer now. You no longer are fooled by the flash and the game, but you see right through it and you’re looking for someone who’s real, someone who’s a gem.
But that’s why they’re called a gem, right? Not only are they rare in existence, they are sometimes protected by layers of soil, grime, and rocks. They are hidden deep inside the earth. You’ll find one. Just don’t be distracted and discouraged by the surface pebbles and the shallow cement rocks.