No such thing as “friends with benefits”

There is no such thing.

What is your view point of it? Is it the greatest arrangement ever? Or that this is a model that will never sustain?

So currently, the viewpoint of the market is:
This arrangement is the ideal, ultimate awesome-ness for a guy. Being able to have physical intimacy without having to endure the burdens of a relationship.
And for the girl, if she’s able to maintain emotional distance and be able to hope for something more, then it would be a good arrangement, too.

Some of our friends discussed this topic in depth. And here are some of our thoughts.

This model… sucks. And it’s very deceiving, for both parties. Because you call it “friends”, you think it’s a friendly situation and they’ll still always be able to “stay friends”. But it’s not. Someone ALWAYS gets hurt. ALWAYS. People often think it’s the girl, but guys are just as susceptible.

After awhile, someone always wants more, whether it be more stability, or more commitment, or more time, or exposure and accessibility to the rest of the other person’s life.
But unless both people are on the same page constantly, there will be hurt feelings and broken hearts.

We use this term in hopes that we can get closer to this person without suffocating them or scaring them with a relationship, so we offer no-strings-attached physical intimacy. Or we hope to be able to enjoy physical intimacy with someone without leading them on or keeping them completely platonic and with no emotions. Except sex is a very emotional and intimate thing. Someone always falls for the other person, either before the “arrangement” began, or after it started.

The “friends with benefit” thing just doesn’t work.


One thought on “No such thing as “friends with benefits”

  1. I agree with this article totally. FWB is just selfish using of another person. A friend is just that – a FRIEND. Not someone you use for sex! You’re either platonic or not. Platonic means you’re not having sex with that person. This is the most stupid f–ked up concept around. To those who want to engage in this selfish scenario, I say get some balls and learn how to have a REAL relationship – which takes courage and willingness to be really open and vulnerable. FWB, F–kbuddies, NSA sex, it’s the same selfish thing – and I hate it.

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