This blog is turning one year old! I broke up with my long-time-boyfriend/almost-fiance exactly one year ago… after I found out he was cheating. And to help heal, I started this blog. Today is my one-year single anniversary.
I remember a year ago I was in so much pain that I wasn’t able to verbally recount what had happened. So I started a blog, this blog, and would direct my family and close friends to it. I didn’t have the heart to tell them what happened in person. I knew everyone would be shocked, angry, saddened, everything. I couldn’t bear it. I also wasn’t able to keep from crying when I recounted the events of the night I had found out he was cheating.
It’s been exactly a year. I realized I’ve changed and grown so much. God has been so loving and gracious over the last year, as He helped me get back on my feet and continue walking forward. On this journey that consists of God and me.
I’ve learned so much more of God and His characteristics. I’ve seen myself in so much pain, physical pain and heartache pain. I’ve found that wounds heal, but with time and care. I found that when people are hurting, we make rash decisions.
I understand why I had to go through this, even though at first I questioned why a loving God would allow me to experience this. I learned that excessive crying can lead to spontaneous nosebleeds. And that when I’m sad, I don’t want ice cream or chocolate. When I’m sad, I can’t eat (even being the foodie that I am), and food tastes like cardboard. I learned that God has blessed me with my parents, church families (both in Pittsburgh and Philadelphia), friends from school and around the city of Philadelphia that love me dearly. I’ve learned that these people around me may show me love in various ways, but they are ultimately there for me when I’m shredded into pieces and completely face down on the ground, with no strength to stand up and carry onward.
I’ve learned that forgiveness is a long road, and not always instant. I realize that though I’m a strong woman, I have to allow myself time to heal. I realize that distraction may help ease the pain sometimes, but quiet times with God and His Words are the aloe vera and healing cremes that heals and protects the wound. I’ve witnessed my friends come to my aid and help when I have no strength to even cry out.
Mmm, yes. Lots of learning. Lots of struggling, but lots of growth. I’m thankful for this year of growth. It was painful, but it was so worth it. I’m thankful for this year of discovering God in a different light and also discovering myself. I’m thankful for my friends and family for walking with me through this treacherous time and being a blessing to me and my walk in life. 🙂