I just found out that I’ve been blocked by my ex. Not the most recent one, but the Korean one who cheated on me. The incident and reason which had me start this blog, actually.
I don’t really look up his profile much at all. Except 2 weeks ago, I thought I saw the girl he was cheating with… in Philly. Multiple times! It freaked me out. I haven’t thought of him or her in almost a year. And suddenly, I seem to see her everywhere. But they all live in NJ. So I go online to check if she’s moved to Philly. Nope. Facebook says she still has the same job and is still living in NJ and has not recently taken a trip to Philly. Strange. Ok.
Then, a week later, I start seeing men that look like my ex. I know it’s not him, but they look like him. I’m like, banging my head and telling myself to get a grip. My days are packed solid, and I don’t need these crazy mind delusions derailing me.
Anyhow, I try to look him up on facebook, and realize that he’s not on anymore. So I start getting slightly worried. Because in the past, if he ever deletes or inactivates his facebook account, something bad is usually going on, like his life is spiraling out of control (well, at least in his head…). So I email his friend and ask if everything is alright. I get no response.
I was telling my friend about all these “sightings” I’ve been having. And then about the deleted facebook profile. She answered, “umm, he has a facebook profile, and it looks quite active.”
What?! What’s going on? Did he… No he did not… no way… He blocked me!? After almost a year? He blocks me now?? Why on earth? If he wanted to block me, why not do it last July when everything exploded in our faces? Why recently? (I actually have no idea when he blocked me… it could’ve been months ago or weeks ago or just yesterday…)
Oh, and his profile picture is with a girl. Ah… I see. A new girlfriend. But that shouldn’t matter~ I dated someone back in Nov as well. And he seemed fine. Why block me now?
*So blocking is very different from unfriending. I can understand if he unfriend-ed me. Since we haven’t talked at all since July, but we were still “friends” on facebook. We were listed as “friends” and separately, we just went on with our lives. Now, after all this time of not keeping in touch, I can understand if he un-friends me. But blocking, do you know what that means? (I just learned it recently through a friend that a locking function exists …) It means that it will seem as if this person doesn’t exist in your facebook world (lol, I feel so silly and so teenager to call it that…) But basically, you can’t search for them, you can’t see their activity at all. So for example, if they post on your friends’ walls, you won’t see that post. If your friend tags them in pictures or posts on their wall, you won’t see that information on your friends’ profiles. So basically, it’s as though this person doesn’t exist. And I think there’s something with tagged pictures, too… But I haven’t figured that out yet…
Anyhow. The girl seems like a nice Korean girl. His mother would like that a lot more. She seems much younger than me, but also much more submissive. Not the type A, alpha female as me… lol. I think that type of girl is actually much better for him.
I think when we were together, even though he said he was fine that I always had higher income, or higher education, or was more vocal on my opinions and thoughts… Somehow, I don’t think he was. Granted, I was so young back then when we started dating. I didn’t really know how to just let him win, or to stroke his ego or to … hide my achievements? I think we just weren’t a good match. But we were young, and attracted to each other. We tried to make it work. He tried to deal with the fact that I was more the type A personality and an overachiever, and I tried to accept that he was a dreamer and often didn’t keep jobs because “he just didn’t want to do that”. We tried hard. But I think as we grew up, this relationship got ridiculously difficult, and we parted ways.
Now he’s with a younger girl, that seems to adore him and seems to not have as strong a personality. I think she’ll be good for him. Now if only he would unblock me! I don’t contact him at all, barely look at his page. Not sure why he would block me? Though I know we had a ton of pictures tagged. Both of us never really touched anything. It was like suddenly leaving an empty house behind. Everything stayed just as it was. No one touched anything. Too painful. Too surreal. Perhaps the new girlfriend wanted all those pictures gone. And maybe he wanted to move on and erase the past. Blocking is quite a useful function for that. Instead of manually “un-tagging” yourself. Just block the person in question entirely. And we’re good. New life. New girlfriend. New starts.
Ah well, we move on.