The Guy’s side? I’m charming and handsome. The girl needs to clean up and dress up and look pretty. Then she needs to be engaged and laugh at my jokes. She also should have smooth baby skin, and hopefully isn’t too picky with food. Hopefully, the girl also has a good personality and is easy to talk to. It would be bonus points if I find that she has a ton of things in common as me. Oh, and did I mention she has to look great, too?
The Girl’s side? I’m going to dress up and look nice. But I hope this guy makes effort in planning the date. I hope he has manners. His conversation needs to not bore me to tears. And hopefully he can respond to topics that I bring up. Maybe we’ll have things in common that we can talk about. I hope he has a sense of humor, one that can really make me laugh. I hope he likes what I’m wearing. I wonder what we’ll be doing/eating? I hope it’s interesting and fun.
Perhaps we’re more similar than we thought. We’re not against each other, you know?
Perhaps this “spark” thing is just something that has mystified, making it sound as if love is this untangible thing that is transient and comes and goes. But it’s not. Love is real. It’s substantial. In the same way, this love has created life, gone through financial hardships, held families together amidst sorrow and death and tough changes. Not that Hollywood is try to trick us, we can’t blame them. They do need that “magic factor” to make a movie, so that there’s something write a screen play about.
Maybe we should stop trying to find the “spark” and try to just pay attention to the other person during the date. And start with the facts and the stuff that is coming out of our mouths. Maybe then love won’t be so transient and mystical and strange. And then we can be more responsible about love. So we won’t be hearing statements such as, “Oh, the spark just died away, so let’s end things, break up, divorce, end our lives that we’ve grown and nurtured together for years.”
Just maybe, maybe we’ll be more responsible for our relationships and take on the blame. Instead of blaming this mystical creature that comes and goes and has unpredictable mood swings, this thing called: Spark.