Recently, my friend has been trying to date online and has been on some dates, that may have conjured some hilarious comments and afterthoughts.
Of the two best:
“I have more chemistry with my hairbrush”
“The date was pleasant.. but just pleasant.”
At first, that made me turn towards our male population, with a few thoughts:
Guys, I know you mean well. But sometimes a girl wants more than just a plain and “pleasant” date. They want something fun, something different. Something that makes you stand out.
Now I’m not talking about some grand gesture (read: Jet skiing in the Hudson River of NYC, from the movie “Hitch”). But something that is more than just a random restaurant. I’m not the best in giving ideas, but a few of the top dates I’ve been to (regardless if I ended up dating them), and was fairly impressed and was excited about.
1. Baseball games (Yay Phillies!) (or another professional sport, unless your city has really good college teams).
2. Dinner at a restaurant well known for it’s unique cuisine designs, and then order the chef’s menu/selection. Then you guys can experience and test out various plates together, rating each dish, giving comments like a food critic.
3. Playing scrabble in the park (yay for Rittenhouse!) while having cheese and wine and… ice cream!
4. Going to a well known site (tourist-y) and then going to the little shops, flee markets or street markets. (When I was in London, one date was all the way up to Greenwich, which is where the Meridian (0 degrees longitude) and Greenwich Mean Time.
5. Something nature-y. Apple picking (strawberries, if you’re in spring/summer). Some activity that isn’t too physically demanding (yet… you don’t know her physical endurance yet).
6. You fill in the blank~ (or leave a comment) 🙂
But then, as I was thinking about this topic, I started thinking… towards our female population.
Is it that we, as girls, are so disillusioned by the media and Hollywood, that we now subscribe to the necessity of “chemistry” and “spark”. All which may be completely misleading.
I’m sure many of us have felt a spark, got excited, started dating, and then found out it was completely wrong. Or we didn’t feel a spark or saw any potential, but after awhile, our interests started growing, and we softened towards them, finding out they are amazing, but too late, because now they’re taken?
Perhaps we hold these poor guys to a standard that isn’t even realistic! What really makes a date “better than pleasant”? The conversation? The activity? The guy??? What if it’s me? What if we are the reason that the date wasn’t as good as it could have been? A date is made of two people. The responsibility of making a date “good” never only lies with one person. Sure, one person can really screw it up. But when we’re talking about making it “magical” (sorry, we’re gonna go a bit fantasy/Disney for a bit), how can it be only one person’s role?
Aladdin’s date with Jasmine on that magic carpet, it was a duet they were singing, remember? Not a one sided serenade from Aladdin to Jasmine.
I need to think about this a bit more. But for starters, if a date is bland, if a date is plain, make sure you pinpoint why. Don’t just automatically blame the guy. Was it the conversation? (but that usually includes more than one person… unless they only talk to themselves…) Was it the activity? (but he didn’t know what you like! Give him a break!) Was it his company? (perhaps he thinks of you the same way too? just bland, and nothing special?)
I’m not telling all us ladies to self-blame and be super sensitive and hyper self-conscious. Nor am I saying to lower your standards in what you’re looking for in a man. What I am saying is that next time a date is only “so-so”, don’t write off the date or the guy immediately. Remember, in order to have a successful date, both people need to play their role/cards right. Did we hold up your end? And at least try? Or were we just sitting back, ready to watch a one-man performance, as if he were a joker/clown trying to entertain his majesty?