Recently been talking to a friend who’s been trying to quit smoking, and has thus far been clean for 3 months! (Congrats!!)
Went into the discussion of people being addicted to love, or moreso, dating. Talked to a bunch of people and asked for opinions and thoughts.
People love dating (the fun parts), it’s exhilarating, it’s thrilling and exciting and the novelty is just wondrous. However, when the time comes to stop dating multiple people, and only have one person, for a long time… people start to hesitate.
So how is smoking like dating, you ask?
Well, first of all, if you’re really self reflective, you’ll find yourself quite fed up with yourself. Like smoking, you don’t realize you’re doing it more and more and more, and you’re depending on it more and more and more. By the time you realize, you try to quit, but you can’t. And every time you relapse, you’re annoyed and pissed off at yourself.
So my friend who has successfully quit smoking, was going through this turmoil of being fed up as well as being controlled by cigarettes, so he went and found a smoke counselor, someone who helps you quit.
First thing the counselor asked him was to mark down WHEN he was more likely to smoke, and try to find trends. And this is what he found:
1. When he was alone
2. When he was bored
Ah, how interesting, sounds like us when we date. When are you most likely to go on dates or call up an ex-date or even just an ex? Probably when you’re alone and feeling quite bored (read: lonely).
Next, she asked him to stop hanging out with his smoker friends, or at least spend less time with them. Because that constant stimulus is a strong temptation to fall back again, and indirect peer pressure is also a strong influence.
That makes sense. If we hang out with friends who are always dating multiple people, or are always talking about meeting guys and girls, or about that new date/new guy/new girl, etc…. It makes us fall into that mindset and start thinking in that realm as well. So if your friends are obsessed with dating, that will make you obsessed, and thus, addicted as well.
Finally, she told him that he just can’t own any cigarettes. If he has any, he should throw them out. So therefore, when he feels the urge to smoke, he’ll be forced to bum it off someone else, which decreases the incentive when the urge comes.
Hmm, how does that apply? Well, delete people’s numbers and contacts, thus making it increasingly difficult when the dating urge comes up. But what about new numbers? Just don’t take them.
Hmm. So maybe I’m going to try to quit dating for a bit. Let’s see how this goes.