“Why are you posting on my facebook, if you ignored me before?”

Hmm, I’ve actually heard this question from multiple of my guy friends before.

So let’s start with the situation:

Ralph meets Laura. Get each others numbers, and last names….Find each other on facebook, friends each other.

Ralph send a message on facebook to Laura, asking her if she wanted to do something. No response.

Ok, well, Ralph is a big boy, he can take a hint. Point taken. So he moves on.

Two weeks later, she starts posting on his wall. A lot. “Hey, let’s hang out!” “Hey, haven’t heard from you in awhile”.

What’s the deal?

ok, Ralph, here are a few reasons:

1. Her work blocks facebook. (mine used to as well). And she doesn’t own the iPhone (neither do I) which allows you to have constant and easy access to facebook.  So it very well could be that you just chose the worst way to communicate with her, through facebook messaging… She may have saw the message (if she has the settings where it sends an alert to your email), but was unable to respond, since she was at work or out, and then later forgot to check. Or she wasn’t even aware that you messaged her (since many people turn off that alert to reduce spam). So finally, after 2 weeks, she goes and checks out her facebook, and sees your message, and responds via wall post.

2. She was seeing someone else at the time. Was busy with other men. Something happened, things fell through. She’s now available again, and wants to see you. That’s not too bad. Maybe even good, how she respects men, and tries to date them one at a time.

3.  She was more into another guy, thought you weren’t that interesting. The other guy turned out to be a jerk, and she’s now alone, and thinking, “well, why not? I’ll chat Ralph up, since he seems pretty interested in me.” So in this case? That would be quite a bad situation. And, no, she’s not being very nice at all.

So which one is it? I’m not sure, but here are a few things you can do to test it out.

1. Ask her what she wants to do and when. Leave the ball in her court and have her take initiative to plan it out. So have her choose the time and place.

2. Don’t make her your priority (yet). She didn’t make you her’s, so don’t go all out, just yet.

3. Did she explain why she was so delayed in her response? Usually, in a business email, you acknowledge your delayed response, apologize, and sometimes offer an explanation. Did she? If not, feel free to ask her why. Casually though, not interrogating. But more in a “Oh, did you travel somewhere? I thought maybe you were out of town for a few weeks, since I didn’t hear from you.”
If she’s scenario 1 or 2, she’ll be straightforward and explain. If she’s flustered and gives phony answers, she’s probably 3.

So now, to the ladies. Please don’t be 3. I totally understand if you’re #1 or #2, (I’m #1 all the time >.< sorry!) But if you have a delayed response, apologize!

Don’t try to sleaze it off, it’s shady! Be a lady! Be professional.


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