Last week, I was talking to an acquaintence while we were all out with mutual friends. We hit it off really well, we both enjoyed the intellectual stimulating conversation that the other person had to offer. Our humor was just the right amount and level for both people. We had a lot in common (working in the same place, towards a similar goal).
Afterward, we exchanged numbers, and decided to keep in contact.
One night, we were chatting more, and he looks at my bookshelf, and realizes that I’m an avid Christian. He proceeds to tell me he’s Jewish.
Then, as intellectuals do, we both passionately but in civilized manner discussed our views on religion. He asks the key question: “Do you prefer to date Christians?”
I answered, yes.
He said religion doesn’t matter that much to him, but he can see that it means a lot to me. I nodded.
We talked about evolution, relationships, premarital sex, God’s existence, faith vs logic, Judaism and Christianity, and other topics, for next few hours.
As he left, he comments how sad this is, the fact that we’re like Romeo and Juliet, minus the hating parents.
That left me to ponder, is that an accurate analogy? We can’t be together, because we both hold our religious views passionately. But was that the case for Romeo and Juliet?
From my perspective, Romeo and Juliet loved everything about each other, the only thing kept them away from each were external reasons: family rivalry and hatred. However, what is keeping us apart? Difference in religion. But that’s not external reasons, is it? It’s the core of our being. It defines my existence and purpose.
My faith is what keeps me alive and going. Without it, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I would probably in the depth of sorrow and hopelessness. Faith is to the deepest depth of who I am. So how can I agree that “what’s keeping us from dating is due to ‘external things'”? Because it’s not.
No one is stopping me from dating him. I am stopping myself from dating him. Because, I’ve gone down this road so many times before. In the end, I feel unsatisfied and discontent about the relationship. Not because they did anything, but merely the fact that I cannot share and grow and experience faith and God’s works together. They may be supportive and understanding, as many are today (tolerant). But I don’t just want a supporter, I need a partner.
That’s what I’m looking for.
So no, we are not like Romeo and Juliet. We are like oil and water, like black and white, like day and night. We are different, and we’re in different places. And will be unable to share the depths of our hearts and mind.
I don’t want to be in a relationship or marriage and feel like the loneliest person in the world. I want a partner to experience this world and all God’s made… together.