It’s another funeral

So guy number 6 and I started dating about 7 months ago, and now, we’re broken up. We broke up on Friday.

It’s kinda hard. Not as tough as the previous cheating ex, but it’s still hard.

We didn’t want to break up, but we thought it’d be the best for us in the long run. We still really loved each other, but we thought, we would hit walls later on, so we should break it off now, before hating each other later.

Except….
easier said than done. It was ridiculously hard to let go. Our break up took 4 hours of long long conversation.

It kinda sucks that in one year I’ve had 2 break ups.

Today, he dropped off all my things that I left at his place.

It hurt a bit when I saw the bag of things. It was almost a slap in the face to say, “You’re out of my life. That’s it. I’m done. You’re gone. here’s all your crap. don’t talk to me, don’t contact me. I’m done with you” It was really sad and had a resonating emptiness tone… As if the person that you cared most for the last few months has suddenly turned their back on you.

I understand they need to pick themselves up and move on. And they can’t just keep moping or dwelling. But at the same time, there’s that tiny part in me that hopes we get back together.

Even though I know its hard to break up, but it’s the right thing to do. But there’s a tiny part in me that listens to my emotions and not my logic, and that tiny part wants to be together. That tiny part thinks “this feeling sucks! we should just get back!”

But I need to kill of or squash that tiny part. It needs to die. It needs to disappear. Just like how our relationship is disappearing. That tiny part in me needs to die off, too.

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