Marrying against your family’s will: Romantic or Irresponsible?

Now some people may say this is so romantic because love conquers all. But lets step back and be grown ups for a sec, now can we?

You want to get married but your family is very much against it. Your response?

A. Ignore and go ahead with it anyway. With or without them.
B. Try to explain to your parents why you feel this is the person you should marry and want to marry and hope they will except them over time. Discuss it with you family thoroughly, and though they still don’t see eye to eye, you have all had ample time to express opinions and listen to each other. Get married after discussion and hope time will help.
C. Try to talk with you parents, realize that it will take much more than just a few weeks, and continue dating the person, but not rush into the marriage. Wait for parents to finally accept the other partner before going ahead and planning the engagement and marriage.

Now most romantics may think they’ll want Scenario A. But is that really what wins out? As romantic as it is at that moment, perhaps the parents have a point. Should we listen to them and give them a chance to express their opinion? Afterall, this is the 21st century when everyone and their mom has a say in today’s global events and event, both politically, socially, environmentally, and financially. Wouldn’t we want to at least listen to them, since they may have a good point, and they are probably the few in the world that want nothing more than the best for us? And would even die for us.

I have friends that broke up or canceled their engagement because the family did not support it. And it was even over things that many people may find petty, for example, not being the same ethnicity, not the same religion, not the right education background/level, etc. How about that? Can one say that these people just “didn’t love the other person enough” ? Or maybe we can say that perhaps these people have respect and regard for those that brought them up and gave their children their life? And perhaps the kids weren’t just selfishly thinking about themselves and about what they want, and as spoiled brats do “I can get whatever I want, because I said so.” (How many “I”‘s appeared in that sentence?!)

End of the day, there’s no real answer, but I do support the decision in respecting our parents and at least talk and discuss with them, and not being immature and boisterous, thinking, “if I just go ahead and elope/get married, there’s nothing they can do. They just have to eat it!”

I think when you disregard the people around you and the people who care about you, and just run off and get married (making a big life decision), I don’t think it’s romantic at all. I think it’s immature, irresponsible, and just plain selfish.


One thought on “Marrying against your family’s will: Romantic or Irresponsible?

  1. I admit I’ve been hard-headed before, but I try to have my mom’s input at least nowadays. I guess parents always have a good eye for the future usually. I hope to trust their opinion, because after all, as good parents they just want us to be happy as well.

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