“I don’t wait for a man”

That’s what my friend said to me today. “There’s two things I won’t do. I won’t wait in lines for clubs and I won’t wait for a man.”

At the first moment, I looked at her with admiration thinking, wow, she’s so confident and strong!

But then, I rethink her statement, and I’m not so sure if I still think it’s confidence and strength anymore.

Of course we won’t wait for a guy that’s a loser and constantly disappoints us or abuses us or mistreats us. But what about being patient for a man? Because you want to give it a chance?

Maybe we say these big statements about “not ever waiting for man” because we’re scared? We scared that:
1. If we really wait for them, what if they end up turning us down? Then the rejection will hurt so bad. Better drop them first before we get dropped.
2. By waiting, that will show we’re desperate, and that he’s good enough to wait for, and we’re so desperate that we need to wait.
3. By waiting, we’ll commit and invest more, and that gives the guy more control over our mood and more ability to hurt us.

So perhaps, underneath this seemingly strong and confident statement is actually insecurity and fear. Not at all the glamorous forefront that we put up.

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One thought on ““I don’t wait for a man”

  1. And I believe that “confident” men face the same issues. There’s one thing about playing the “game” that is exciting, but like playing with fire, you risk getting burnt any moment you let your guard down. But without letting the guard down, you’ll never know if it’ll work out for the better. So, I suppose it’s better to take a calculated risk, and if you end up getting hurt, it’ll be a lesson, like is was for me.

    Sometimes I sit back and reflect on my relationship experiences, and I have to feel a bit grateful for being able to share the laughter and the smiles with someone else. Perhaps it’s worth it after all, even with the pain that may come.

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