That’s what my friend said to me today. “There’s two things I won’t do. I won’t wait in lines for clubs and I won’t wait for a man.”
At the first moment, I looked at her with admiration thinking, wow, she’s so confident and strong!
But then, I rethink her statement, and I’m not so sure if I still think it’s confidence and strength anymore.
Of course we won’t wait for a guy that’s a loser and constantly disappoints us or abuses us or mistreats us. But what about being patient for a man? Because you want to give it a chance?
Maybe we say these big statements about “not ever waiting for man” because we’re scared? We scared that:
1. If we really wait for them, what if they end up turning us down? Then the rejection will hurt so bad. Better drop them first before we get dropped.
2. By waiting, that will show we’re desperate, and that he’s good enough to wait for, and we’re so desperate that we need to wait.
3. By waiting, we’ll commit and invest more, and that gives the guy more control over our mood and more ability to hurt us.
So perhaps, underneath this seemingly strong and confident statement is actually insecurity and fear. Not at all the glamorous forefront that we put up.