“Honey, let’s go to this formal”

So, unless it’s a function for the husband’s/boyfriend’s company or his own wedding, usually, the women are the ones who initiate the idea of going to formals and getting dressed up fundraisers and events.

Recently, there was a “Black and White Formal” in Philadelphia. And the requirements were simple and straightforward: Please only wear black and white attire.

Soon after, a flood of inquiries from women came stumbling in. “Can my husband wear a dark gray suit?”, “Does my boyfriend have to wear ALL black? Can there be gray?”, “My husband has no black attire, is that ok?”

Notice two things:
1. All the emails are from women.
2. The questions are all from the women asking for their husbands.

Why aren’t the men asking these questions? If the man can’t find the appropriate attire, why don’t they try to figure it out? Unless… <gasp> they actually don’t really want to go!!



1. The man doesn’t want to go. Therefore, he has no motivation to “solve the problem” of finding appropriate attire. But the woman really wants to go, so she tries to solve the problem for him and convinces him to go.

2. The man would kind of like to go, but not enough to really take initiative and try to ask for leniency or try to go out and rent/buy the appropriate attire. So he just gives up. But the woman really wants to go, so tries to resolve the problem, makes the situation easier and then gets him to go.

3. The man really wants to go, but is too embarrassed to ask a “clothing” related question. Therefore, he asks his wife/girlfriend to do it for him.

Black and White Formal Attire

Black and White Formal Attire

I highly doubt that it’s number 3, because I think most mature guys will get over themselves and are capable to ask for more information and resolve their problems on their own.

As for option number 1 and 2, is it that the woman just doesn’t realize that the man doesn’t want to go? Or she thinks, “if I have everything planned out and thought out, and the guy doesn’t have to think or make any effort, maybe he’d be more inclined to go.”

So then brings us to the next point, why are women so insistent on going to formals? Is it the dressing up? So why don’t we just dress up on our own? Why do we have to bring a date? (and make our men go through miserable formals in tight and stuffy suits/tuxes with us?)

Is there any way where women can still enjoy going to formals and dressing up? But not have to endure the pressure of getting a date? (Remember those days of our proms and school/sorority formals?)

I can’t think of any solution yet. Don’t know if anyone else has come up with a solution yet either.

But as for now, men, please comply once in awhile, and accompany us to these formals, even if it bores your mind to pieces. We, as women, will be very grateful for your presence and company!


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