Are you guys really just friends? or is there something going on?

Have you ever gotten caught in this situation?

Where you’re hanging out with a bunch of people, and two people seem really close and flirty, but upon asking, they quickly shake their heads, laugh hysterically, and say, “Oh my goodness. I would never date him/her. We’re totally just friends.”

And you believe them, until a few minutes later, the flirting starts again, and the special looks, and etc etc.

So what do you do? If you’re single, does that mean the girl is up for grabs? or the guy is available? Or is that just them being shy about their current status?


Does it mean that the guy or girl is actually interested in YOU? And by answering, “No, I’m not dating him/her”, they are actually trying to explain to you subtly that they are still available and single? (Hint, hint. Wink, wink.)

So then why are they flirting? if they’re really interested in you?

1. Maybe they’re trying to ask you to up your game? (oh, those stupid games)

2. Maybe they came with the guy or girl but is now more interested in you. But they can’t just drop their “friend”, so they need to split their attention between you and the so called “friend”.

3. Perhaps they’re way too nice, and feel bad for saying no to the “friend” who’s interested, or they’ve been long time buddies, and they can’t just ignore them and ditch them to come talk to you. But they’re trying to explain to you, without being too forward, that they’re interested in you and available for you.

4. Perhaps they’re observing you. Trying to get a feel of what you’re like, but from afar. They’re interested. Oh, they’re interested. But they want to step a few feet away first, and take it a bit slower.

Or… perhaps you’re right. They’re just lying through their teeth. And something is obviously going on. So then why not man up to it?! and explain?!

Well, maybe they’re just being shady. Perhaps something is going on. And they’re both very interested in each other. But both are too prideful (or insecure) to be the one to confess that they like the other person. Also, could be that they want to seem “cool and calm” and as if they still want to play the field and are not tied down. (Why are people go obsessed with not being the first one to admit they’re in a relationship or like each other?! People need to get over it…)

Maybe they just broke up. Or maybe they kinda had a thing going, but now it’s fallen apart. And they’re trying to move on, but unhealthily still hanging around each other, or they share many mutual friends (Staying friends with an ex).

Either way, people who do this: STOP IT!

Not only is it silly and childish that you guys are playing this game with each other, it’s also very CONFUSING for everyone around you! Especially when there are men on the prowl and women on the lookout, and many other of your friends just super confused about how to treat you and act around you when you bring out your “friend”. So please, do us all a favor. Have a DTR (define the relationship) talk and figure it out. And if you’re really just “friends”, then act like it!


4 thoughts on “Are you guys really just friends? or is there something going on?

  1. it sounds like within your circle of friends there is another smaller circle of friends forming a closed off friendship to the rest of you. Myself, I dont like being second fiddle. I also dont like friends who do not treat me an open book to who they are. Lets face it, those types hide their true identity and give you the perception of who they want you to think they are. If this was a one time situation maybe they were just making a connection. If it happens more than once and their is deception they would no longer be within my inner circle of “true” friends.

  2. whoa harsh! in defense of ppl who do that tho (i think i’m guilty of it? i don’t even know!), sometimes ppl are soo not in touch with their feelings to realize something is up. yes, people can be that oblivious. often, my roomate can tell way before me when something is up from just *listening* to me talk about situations.

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