Should I call him back first?

My answer: Absolutely yes!

Why?

Well, first off, waiting is hell. Why would you allow someone else to put you through it if you had the power to remove yourself from it?

It’s the 21st century and we, as women, have the right to take control and remove yourself from situations that you don’t like and aren’t comfortable in.

Do I mean constant texting and calling right after the first date? No. Of course not. But being equal, such as waiting a few days (yes, act cool) and return a call or text a “Thank you for the date, I really enjoyed it” wouldn’t hurt. In fact, it would probably help.

A lot of women shoot themselves in the foot, because they keep waiting and waiting, and meanwhile, this may send signals of indifference or high maintainence to the guy, both which are usually not quite positive.

Sometimes, as women, we tell each other advice such as:

“No, definitely don’t call first. You need to let him call. Play hard to get. Let him try to catch you. Play the game! It’s fun to be chased.”

Honestly, sometimes I don’t know if women are just trying to sabotage each other or do they just fail at getting men. Nobody likes playing the games, and moreso, no one likes being played. As much as we like to joke about men’s IQ, they are very smart creatures. And they will know when they are being toyed with and manipulated. As soon as he realizes what you’re about (all about games and such), you can watch any respectable, good quality guy walk out that door, faster than you can “redial” and call back.

Men have self respect. So treat them how you’d want to be treated. By playing this game of “who calls who first” and “who can wait it out the longest” and “I’ll see when he starts missing me” … Really? There’s no winner in these types of games. Even if he does bend over and call you, then what? More games?

And then the relationship will start off with all guessing and games. So if that’s what your comfortable with, perhaps try asking, why do you need games?

Are you afraid that you have nothing to offer the guy? and that there is nothing that he’ll find about you intriguing that he’ll want to stay? So in order to make a guy stay, you’ll have to play games and toy with his appetite?

If so, stop playing games, and realize you have TOOONS to offer. Not just your company, but your thoughts, your passions, who you are, your past experiences, etc etc. You have a lot to offer. So stop playing games. Get some confidence in yourself, and call him back.

And if he’s not receptive. Oh well. It’s ok. It’s not a good match then! Move on, and you’ll find someone that appreciates you, not the games, but you.

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One thought on “Should I call him back first?

  1. Pingback: Are you guys really just friends? or is there something going on? « The Adventures of a Third Culture Kid

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