Trying to “just be friends” with an ex, or not being able to move on?

If you keep trying to stay friends with an ex, even after the ex has moved on with his/her life, what does that mean?

Do you truly want that friendship? Or are you just lying to yourself and you’re really just unable to let go of them and those feelings you had, and probably still have, for them?

Why are you upset if they don’t return your call or txt or email? or any of the other 5 million ways that you’ve tried to contact them?

Because they no longer want you in their life anymore. They have moved on. And so should you. Stop facebook stalking, walk posting, twittering, emailing, Gchat stalking, AIM status stalking, cell phone texting, drunk dialing, myspace checking, even blog reading … him/her!!

My dear friend, we love you. But honestly, you tell yourself that you want to be just be friends, because you miss him as your best friend. But guess what? The truth is, that can be replaced, too. You can find another best friend. A different best friend. A better one, even. Maybe you’ll find it in a guy friend or a girl friend, maybe it will be platonic, maybe it will grow to something more. But whatever it is, it can be replaced.

(Except for this… unless you have a doctor’s “prescription” and an open OR and a donor…)

Heart Replacement

Heart Replacement

Stop lying to yourself and to them that your intentions are pure, and all you really want is to stay “friends” and to continue to be in each others lives.

Unless you guys share common friends, continue to live in the same city, constantly are hanging with the same group (the frequency should be more than once every 2 months), there is no reason why you guys should still stay in one another’s lives.

Because any function or role that he/she used to play in your life, you can fulfill it with someone else. If its that best friend role, well, go find your other good close friends. If its sex you need, I’m sure you can find some one night stands. If its a random love-like relationship, you can also find that. If its an undying, unconditional love relationship that is heading toward marriage, well guess what?   You’ll be able to meet someone else again that, this time, will be able to walk down that aisle with you, from beginning till “death do us part”.

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2 thoughts on “Trying to “just be friends” with an ex, or not being able to move on?

  1. My ex has moved on yet he still contacts me. And yesterday he got mad over some pics on Facebook..he was heated. I’m trying to be his friend..but I told him..he’s rants aren’t going to be tolerated. I don’t mind being just his FRIEND..but he clearly still has feeling. But he’s married..and I don’t want him like that anymore.

    • If he still gets upset at what you do, clearly, he has not moved on yet. Also, he’s married! What is he doing still holding on the the past?
      Perhaps its time to say “so-long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye” to this friendship?
      Perhaps one day he will be more stable and more able to handle a normal friendship with you. But till then, he needs to figure out his marriage and his own feelings!
      Good job to you for moving on! Help him out. Maybe you need to remove yourself from his life. If he doesn’t have the strength or determination to do it, you may have to step in and do it for him, make an executive decision.

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