My insecurity with distance

I think I’m now super distrusting of long distance relationships. Well, not really. More like, I don’t trust the relationship and the longevity of it when two people can’t see each other for long periods of time. And by long, I mean like a few days. I know, I sound crazy. but somehow, it scares me. It scares me that it might end up just like my ex.

I know there must have been much more than just not seeing the other person. But the similarities are just too great.

Now, I think if I don’t see someone for a few days, I think they’ll stop liking me, or they’ll find someone new, or they’ll like me less, even. Then I get scared, and try to like them less or care less, like a defense mechanism. But then, I look a bit closer to my psyche and realize that I’m making all these assumptions up. My number one assumption, and probably mistake, is thinking that the other person will like me less, just because they haven’t seen me in a few days. (So yes, I think the quote “Distance makes the heart grow fonder” is a pile of crap.) I have less trust in people’s feelings staying strong and consistent. I also am now very scared of distance and time. As if these things were negative things. Like they’re these two looming monsters who destroy everything.

Not sure if it’s my distrust in time/distance. Or perhaps its my overall distrust of relationships and people. I think I’ve lost confidence on people, and them being able to sustain their feelings through distance.

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