Dating in Christianity

People are judging? or advising? hypocritical? or gossip?

After coming out of a fairly stable state, I suddenly become more aware of whats going on around me. Correction: what’s being said around me.

Now that doesn’t necessarily mean that there are things being said about me, but suddenly, I’m hyper-sensitive to people talking about other people’s business and dating and relationship stuff.

Before, I was a boring topic, in terms of dating. I had the same boyfriend. We were happy. The end. Pretty boring. But I guess because of the change of status, it makes me more aware of what people say about other single people.

For example, does so-and-so like this new guy or girl? I heard they went on a date. Are they even ready to date? Is she ready to date? Should he be dating her? Etc etc… And all these statements and questioning.

Before, I used to think, “Oh, these people are just looking out for each other and keeping each other accountable.”

But now, upon closer look, is that really all there is to it? Obviously, its not nice to be suspicious of every single action other people make. But could it be, that sometimes we say we’re just trying to be “loving and helpful and keeping each other accountable”. But really, we’re just satisfying our desire to gossip, to judge each other, and to tear each other down? Could it be that this really is the wolf masked in sheep skin?

I’m not casting blame on anyone. If anything, I’m putting blame on myself, because I know if I thought carefully enough, I can bet that I’ll have more than a few of these instances in my past, too.

So what’s the verdict? How much do we say until it counts as judging and gossip? How little do we keep from saying, before it counts as apathetic and indifferent and not loving?

And where’s the line? and how can I tell when my motives are no longer loving, but in fact selfish and mean?


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