In the past years, when I went to help out at the retreat, I always felt like the girlfriend, coming to volunteer and help out.
But this time, I had my own identity. I realized my identity wasn’t defined through him. And that people at the retreat and the students and teachers and pastors saw me as a unique individual, not as a side-kick that came with my ex-boyfriend (like a buy one get one free deal).
I like that. I like that I’m being recognized and identified as my own person. Because I breathe and speak as an individual entity. I’m not just someone’s girlfriend. I’m my own human being. And what I bring to the table, what I offer at the retreat, and what I do at the retreat really has nothing to do with the ex. He does the music part and I do the teaching part. My value and identity is not from or through him.
Our relationship is lost and gone, but my identity is intact, as it always was and always be.
I’m glad that I was at this retreat with him. I think it was somewhat of a reality check, as well as a wake-up call, and a closure oppotunity. And most interestingly, I saw God’s awesomeness through it all. Shows me that nothing can thwart God’s plan and His love. I still have my identity in Him, not him.