I was talking to a friend at church today. And I realized that a huge part of my healing comes from being part of a community. Being part of a community helps you get through the roughest times. Whether it be friends comforting you on a crying evening, or friends taking you out for sushi and karaoke to cheer you up, or being involved in their summer activities so you can take your mind off the pain by helping out your community and giving back to them. Either way, it helps… a lot!
As I said before, there are many of my friends who have also broken up recently, and some heal faster than others. But I’ve noticed, that the ones that heal the slowest and are having the most difficult time is due to a lack of community. It’s not because their relationship was longer (some are only a few months to 1 year), it wasn’t because it was a hurtful and bad breakup (most of them are mutual, and not due to cheating…), it wasn’t because one relationship was more loving than the other. People who have an easier time getting over it is not because they are busier people or because they have found rebound relationships, or because they take amnesia pills. It’s because of community.
The fallen and broken have others in their lives they can lean on and ask for help. Someone else can come and bring you crutches or carry your broken heart pieces. Nobody can walk this path for you, but they can accompany, because the journey gets long and lonely.
I’m thankful that my friends and workplace and people at my church provide such a good community. People have spent nights at my apartment to keep me company, they have brought fruit and pastries to make sure I eat healthy, people have come over to cook dinner for me, people have taken out 6-7 hours in their day just to drive me around and take me wherever I want to go, people have watched a movie twice just so I can see it. Friends from far far away have dropped everything so they can have a 2 hour phone conversation with me. People stay on gchat with me throughout the day, check this blog ;), try to tell me jokes to make me laugh, send me little emails to cheer me on this road of recovery.
You guys are wonderful. Thank you so much for loving me, in your own different ways, but such perfect ways. Thanks, guys! 🙂