I went out with some friends. But ended up tearing a bit at the end of night. And when I got home, I started to cry.
Not really sure why. Just felt super super lonely.
My friends started dancing and talking to other guys and girls, and I just wasn’t really into that. I just wanted to hang out with my friends. And then I found myself sitting alone at my table. I felt increasingly lonely. And I had no excuse. I couldn’t say, “Well, I can’t talk to these people because I have a boyfriend.” or “Silly, I would never do that to my boyfriend….” etc etc… But then I realized, I no longer can say that anymore. Yet I still don’t wanna talk to any of those people. Yet, I’m alone. I’m single. But I don’t want to meet anyone.
I felt hopeless. And where were my friends?!?!?!?
They were not there to distract me or help me or just chill with me.
I’m sad. But I’m not even sure why. Is it just because of the change? And an inability to adjust fast enough?
Arg! I’m so frustrated! Why can’t I adjust faster?! Why can’t we fast forward this pain? I don’t like it. I want it to stop. Please? Pretty please?