Today, I went with a bunch of friends to the beach (group of 20+… crazy…). It was great, and crazy windy. But great! We built a sand castle, and it was successful for the first time in my life!
It was a bit hard though. Because all the beach trips I’ve been on in the East Coast were with my boyfriend, er, ex-boyfriend. And so all my beach memories are from my time with him. My friend said, well today you can get some new memories! 🙂
We got to build awesome sand castles (after taking my friend’s 3 year old son’s sand tools… sorry, buddy) and we played a ton of games on the boardwalk. We played so many games that many of us actually had our arms full of stuffed animals as we walked towards our cars tonight. I got two! (Well, more like I pointed at the ones I wanted and someone got them for me, hahahahah). It was really fun. Different, but fun. In the past, when I went to the beach, it was usually just with him. And we would lie on the sand and tan and fall asleep. And sometimes we would go into the water and he would piggy back me as we “floated” / “surfed” the waves. We usually went on the boardwalk only for food and walking. Never really to shop around, get very unhealthy heart-attack food (fried oreos and fried ice cream and cotton candy), play mad games and cheer and boo mad loud, and keep stalling and loitering at random shops and arcades. Today was different, experiences and things that him and I usually don’t do. I got to do a lot of things for the first time, because in the past, he would never want to do those things, because he didn’t like it or he thought it was silly. But I’ve always wanted to build a castle, and play games, and run in and out of the shops, and eat crazy foods! And I finally got to do them! All of them! In one day! 🙂
On the way back, our car was listening to various radio stations. We finally found a good one. My boyfriend hates listening to the radio. I love exploring the radio. My driver let me surf the radio stations (I scored shot gun! yes!). I realized (after the karaoke event Karaoke) my senses are heightened on listening to the lyrics. I hear Pink’s song “So What?” and then No Doubt’s song, can’t remember the name. Then I hear Leona Lewis’ “Bleeding” and then I hear Daughtry “It’s Not Over” and “Damage” and “Heartless” (I forget who sings those) and on and on and on. I’m thinking, “What in the world?! Why are all these songs talking about breaking up?! and pain?! …. This totally proves that my theory about song writing and verbalization is correct!” Anger and pain makes good art!
All these Billboard #1’s… are all talking about sad sad things!! 😦 I can’t believe it! I’ve never noticed it before. I usually just hum along and I like the arrangement or some musical aspect of it or the melody or the chorus or bridge or etc etc. But I never really paid attention to the lyrics … ever. I feel sympathetic, … no, empathetic to these artist (or songwriters, in the cases that some artist don’t write their own songs) who wrote these lyrics. Suddenly, I almost feel apologetic that I ignored their feelings and pain before, and that all I saw were the music and the melodies and all the other aspects. But I missed a very very important piece: The PAIN. I missed their pain. I didn’t see it, I didn’t even notice. They were screaming out their frustrations, they were crying out their pains, they were sobbing out their hearts with their lyrics. Yet all I heard was the music. Yes, the music they made was a beautiful art that was created because of pain. But I missed the source. Wow. I feel… very insensitive and inconsiderate.
Someone in the car told me that the song Pink sang “I’m still a rockstar” was about her divorce. What?! I come home and look up the lyrics, find the music video on YouTube, and Google for news reports. Its true. This song was talking about her ex.
Here are the lyrics (finally, I’m reading the lyrics now) that resonate a bit with me tonight. (Some of the absolute statements are a bit extreme for me. Such as the word “never”). This is from “So What” by PiNK.
I’m still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don’t need you
You weren’t there
You never were
You want it all
But that’s not fair
I gave you life
I gave my all
You weren’t there
You let me fall