So I now wake up before my alarm goes off. That used be ab awesome feeling, but now I just wish I could fall back asleep, because I know my body is still tired. I’m waking up early because I can’t stay asleep, because I’m still feeling sad and a bit restless. And I psycho-ly cherish and treasure my sleep.
I used to think nights were the worst, because its all quiet and your mind can’t stop thinking, and you feel the most alone because you ARE alone in a quiet and dark room. When all you’re trying to do is help yourself fall asleep, the environment actually helps foster an atmosphere for memory lane, missing your ex, and self pity. So, from friends and past experience, nights are usually the dreaded times.
However, not this time. I sleep very well, start dozing super early. But I just can’t stay asleep long enough. I wake up around 7/7:30am. Which is normal for most people, but I usually wake up around 8/8:30am. And usually I need around 7-8 hours of sleep… Anyhow… now my mornings are the “thinking time.” Unfortunately, when I wake up, I remember: we’re not together anymore. And then next I wonder: Is he up talking to her? Did he go down to see her again last night? I wonder what they’re emailing about now? now that the secret’s out.
My next thought is usually: This is not good, I should not be thinking these thoughts. And then I think: God, save me.
But, the up side of it is, at least I get to fall asleep easily and peacefully! And because I’m waking up early, I’m coming into work early, and getting a lot more done! 🙂 yay!