Is there ever a word?

Words cannot express…. is sometimes a good way to put it.

How exactly do you feel after the break up?


A college friend and I talked today. Its very eerie, but she went through almost the exact situation. Her boyfriend of 3.5 years and have moved in together (even worse than mine!) slept with another girl, and had ongoing emails for also about 1 month about how they love each other and miss each other, etc.  They also grew a bit distant when the guy started with the girl, and things started getting better, but the emails continued. And then my friend found the emails. She says, “This is what I’ve learned about guys, they fall in love fast and the moment that feeling fades, they are done and seek it elsewhere.”

Wow… that’s scary. Now, to my wonderful and great guy friends out there, I’m sure there are many exceptions to that statement, also, its just an opinion, so please don’t be upset. But I think its an interesting thought, because I think that’s very different for some women and the dynamics of how they fall in love and what they do when the feelings fade. Both my friend and I tried to maintain the relationship during times when we “fell out of love”, because we believed that love is more than a feeling, its also effort, commitment and hard work (and much more, see 1 Cor 13).

But anyhow, I asked her, did you feel also like a hollow box sound? and did you have a quiet thumping dull pain?! I was desperate to know if she felt the same as I did. She said yes, all those and in addition, “I felt like my heart exploded. It was physical. Very physical. And very hard to describe. But at least now I understand every heartbroken love song. They put it better than I do. Now I understand why there are so many freakin love songs!”

I guess there really aren’t words to describe it. That’s why numerous artist try to use endless words and lyrics to describe it. And so many composers, even Beethoven, who tried to use music (both melody and tone) to capture the feeling, and painters who try to use their brushes to express this … feeling. I guess there really are no words to express. Just endless attempts.

I can see why heartbroken love songs are so popular. Because so many people resonate with them. When they sing a long  (or at karaoke…), they appreciate that the artist is able to describe their feelings so well. Love songs do a good job, but still cannot grasp the absolute description.

I guess there really aren’t any words to describe that feeling. Its just that feeling. You’ll know it once you’ve felt it.

For whatever reason, our conversation made me think of the song “Have You Ever” by Brandy.

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can’t sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don’t come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You’d do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You’d give anything up to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don’t know what to say
And you don’t know where to start

Have you ever found the one
You’ve dreamed of all your life
You’d do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you’ve given your heart to
Only to find that one won’t give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for that day
when they will care


One thought on “Is there ever a word?

  1. You’re so right. Music is power in expression. At the end of a relationship, it has the ability to put us into a deeper funk for days or strengthen our resolve more than ever. I’ll never get over how Gloria Gaynor belts out:
    such an anthem about preservation! It will always get me up to dance! ;p

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