Which one is better?


So I was just talking to a friend. And he told me that he went through something very similar.
He broke up with his girlfriend, and then found out she had hooked up with other people even before the break up.

So that got me thinking…
Which one would be better? and less painful?

1. To find out after the break up? so you’re more emotionally removed and to say, well, thank goodness we broke up. Therefore it doesn’t hurt as much? but at the same time, since its all in the past, there’s nothing you can do or say to change it.


2. To find out during the relationship? So at least you can have the option of breaking up because of the cheating? However, you were in the relationship and committed and emotions are fully engaged when you find out that they are cheating?

Another thing that I was also thinking, physical or emotional cheating? which is worse?

Psychological studies show that men care more about physical fidelity and women care more about emotional fidelity.

So the fact that your significant other hooked up with someone (or multiple peoples), does that hurt worse? Because everytime they touch you or kiss you or hold you, your skin pricks, because those same hands touched another woman or man. (1)


Is it worse that they didn’t do much (like only light lip kiss in my case), but they went all out over emails about their feelings and emotions for each other? Professing their love, and saying they can’t stop thinking about each other and that they want to be with each other so badly? that instead of talking on the phone with me, he’s talking to her and emailing her as he’s talking to me on the phone?

which is worse?
(obviously, I’m a bit biased…. )
but I’m just throwing it out there.


2 thoughts on “Which one is better?

  1. A. I would prefer knowing everything straight up during the break up. Past experience, it usually takes me about three weeks to get over things. I wouldn’t want anything to drag or be bought up again. Gotta move on sometimes; rather do it now than later.

    B. For me at least, physical cheating is far worse than emotional. Hehe I guess those psychological studies are pretty accurate.

  2. Disclaimer: This is coming from someone with absolutely no dating experience, so take it for what it’s worth.
    A. I think it would be less painful hearing it after the breakup, BUT I’d rather hear it during the relationship. This way there’s a chance to still salvage the relationship. People are weak and will make mistakes, but if both sides are committed to a relationship, then things will still work out. I believe that love is a choice and not a feeling. And showing commitment, despite sin and fault, is an expression of that love. Therefore, finding out during the relationship would give me an opportunity to demonstrate my love towards someone.

    B. As a guy, I’d say that physical cheating would hurt more. Feelings, in my opinion, are transient and more abstract. So I guess, I just don’t understand it very well (maybe that’s why I think women are crazy???). Physical cheating is more visual and upfront, so it’s more obvious to me.

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